It´s not easy to leave me speechless. I usually always have something to say when it comes to internet oddities or stupid crap. But this (!!!) takes the cake. This spam comment I received had the power to render me speechless. Like- I don´t even have it in me to come up with something to say, let alone think of a smart-ass come back.
I received a religious spam comment. A long-ass, record-breaking comment. Jesus Christ on a popsicle. I´ve never received anything like this before. This calls for a drink.
Are you ready for the ultimate spam box treasure comment? Apologies for not cropping the screenshots beforehand. You now know I play Two Dots in my spare time, that I have an unanswered Twitter notification and one unseen Youtube video. Yes, my alarm is always set. But hey- At least my phone is charged. That´s something that should be celebrated with… more wine.
PS- I don´t expect you to read everything ( or any of the below ). Just look at the length of this baby. Hot damn…
#1 And So It Begins
#2 There´s More
#3 You Might As Well Get Comfortable
#4 * HOLDING BREATH *
#5 Fun Fact – I Can Roll My Tongue
#6 What? We´re Already Done?
Incredible, right? I´m flashed. And that was one single comment.
My deepest apologies for the single spam comment feature. I figured the size would count for 6 usual spam comments.
Thank you for reading / not having read all the above.
I hope you have a wonderful bookish day.
Sending out lots of book love and virtual chocolates.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another fascinating Spam Box Treasure moment. THE place to read quirky and ridiculous comments sent in bulks to yours truly.
Why I bother with spam, you ask? Reading spam comments is a guilty pleasure of mine. I get a kick out of reading nonsense. So much so that I feel the need to share the crap I get sent. These make my day. I hope they make your day as well. ❤
#1 Me, either. Sorry I can´t help.
#2 It´s only spam. Calm your horses, babe.
#3 Naaaw <3, Thank y… Hold on a minute! You saying I ain´t popular?
#4 Yes, money and boyfriends- Two things that usually don´t work together.
#5 I told you to stop drinking that heavy shit, didn´t I?
We´ve been through this before: I can´t play the piano. I can´t even sing. I also sucked at digitizing my wedding footage. How often do we need to discuss this?
#6 Remodeling? You´ve come to the right place, ace333 apk!
I´ve been working on my house for years (!!!) but we´ve never involved our fruit and veggies. Bah, if you give them the chance to talk they´d never shut up!
That´s it for this month, my dear bookish Padawans. I hope you enjoyed the spams as much as I did.
Well, hellooo! It´s great to have you back. You´re just in time for my out of this world post on my latest spam treasures. Today we´re welcoming Part 5 in the series and I can´t be more proud than I am now knowing that I´ve been blessed with a large amount of wonderful, slightly confusing spam comments. 26 spam comments total! Can you believe that?
Well, 20 of those spam comments were just links, which was a little disappointing. I L.I.V.E for these comments, spammers! Y´all can´t send me a pathetic link. What should I do with links?
Fortunately for me ( and you ), the remaining 6 spam comments were well worth my time. Especially spam comment #6. Whatever you do…. do NOT skip the 6th comment. I promise #6 will be a life and game changer. You´ll either age rapidly or you´ll fall asleep. There´s really no telling. Comment #6 gave me a reason to fetch a drink.
Let´s begin the spam parade!
I abolut am thankful your father is a fan.
2. Aye aye, Captain 3win8 kiosk.
3. Ooookay, Myrna * shoulder shrug *
4. You could have told me this over wine instead of a pfft comment.
5. Can rewrite like human, you say?
6. The Comment That Never Ends ( including my equally never ending reply ).
Dude, 70´s fashion? I just LOVE flared pants. Ever since the return of bell bottoms in the early – mid 90´s I´ve been a fan and can´t seem to get away from em.
Oh, Jason Everman. You mean the guy who played for Nirvana? Nirvana, the reason why I wore an oversized red flannel shirt with ripped jeans and Doc Martins. But I have to admit, I wasn´t a fan of the music.
I must say 918kiss pc – you tickled my interest with your Sophomore music choices. I was a HUGE fan of System Of A Down, even managed to go to a few gigs in my early 20´s. Oh, the days * sigh * Did I ever tell you I was in a crowd ( what I learned was the actual mosh pit ) and was nearly beaten to death. I´m short so I received a few blows from elbows. You should have heard my mother when she saw me after I got home. Sheesh. I was also at a Manson concert once. Gotta tell you, though… 45 minutes without an encore for 60 euros. Kind of a rip off, if you ask me. But back to you: Does one need a reason to like SOAD? No. On to the second part of your message…..
Oh, we talking hair now? I absolutely feel you on being a maniac about one´s own hair. Can I tell you a secret? I´m a hairdresser with a master’s degree. So, I actually enjoy cutting hair, too ( sometimes ). There was a time when I hated it so I decided to go to uni and get a degree in chemistry. I am now officially overqualified for my job. * sigh *
The “one of the days” chorus line you mentioned- Sheesh, I misread that one and thought you were talking about the Foo Fighters song “These Days”. Great song but for a minute there I thought we would go back to Nirvana. Because you know the issue with him being the “new” drummer and all that.
The Beatles- right. Wait… what´s wrong with “Hey Jude”? That´s the song I always sing when I´ve had one too many….
Let me read the third and final part of your comment before I sing Hey Jude to you.
Meeh * wave off * Never been a fan of The Used, either. I somehow grew out of that style of music. How can you say The Used scream a lot? System Of A Down is worse.
Honey, what´s this about being unclean? You ain´t washing yourself? I feel that our friendship has already evolved so I´m going to give you a little advice, from one friend to another- I grew up with brothers so I´m in the know-how on how male hygiene works. Muchacho, you need to wash yourself if you feel unclean.
Back to music: You like breakup albums? Remember when Take That broke up? No, wait- Technically, the band was already done for when Robbie Williams left and the album sans Robbie was for shit. Remember when Guns´n Roses broke up? Pfft. I actually refuse to discuss that one because I get kind of emotional ( and I was 15 at the time. A delicate age for a band to just throw the towel, you know? )
I don´t doubt your mother´s judgement. If she says it rules then it rules. I imagine your mom´s super cool. Mine wasn´t. She nearly killed me when she saw what I did to my new Doc Martins ( the same day I got them I hopped on my bike, put some speed on it and let the caps of my boots glide over the concrete, creating the “used, worn out” look. No one ever wanted new Docs. Then she almost passed out when I took a stone and rubbed it over the knee section of my 501 Levis jeans, creating authentic holes. Mom was not amused, not even after I told her she had no idea what fashion was. She threatened to send me to a home when I presented my new necklace to her ( a dog collar with spikes ). Now, after all the years that have passed she fondly remembers the days when her daughter acted like a possessed person. She also wonders what would have happened if she had actually sent me to a home. Lol.
And for some odd reason the strange grunge chic became a book blogger.
That´s it for the Spam Treasure Box! I hope you enjoyed the little blast from the private past * wink *
Thank you for reading.
Sending much normal, mature love to all the bookish hombres out there ❤
Heya! Welcome back to The Spam Treasure Box special!
I guess I can go ahead and announce that I´ll be doing a monthly Spam Treasure feature from now on. How cool! Seriously, folks… The spam comments I´m getting are too hilarious. Far too hilarious to delete. There´s just no way I can ignore these because some of these are just too good to be true.
So, now it´s official. Be prepared for future spam post features!
For those who have no flipping clue what this is about: These are screenshots from my spam comments. No more info is needed. 🙂 If you end up enjoying these spams you also might want to check out my previous treasures Spam Box Treasures and More From The Spam Treasure Box. Trust me… they´re fab in their own special way.
So, now that we have that settled.. Why don´t we dive right in and see what my spam folder had to offer this month.
You needed 2 solid days for a 16 page children´s book?
2. Daddy, even the neighbor´s cat left town because of Larry´s worship singing. Do something!
3. So, the Bible has a talking snake but it´s not once mentioned what toys Mary and Joseph played with? Pfft. ( taking 2 stars away from Bible rating ). Thank you, Larry, for pointing that major detail out for me.
4. Okay, Flossie. How about I check out your shoe collection and tell you how I can see the reason for why you´re still single?
5. What what what?? I did no such thing! And don´t you dare make use of my ideas. My pitch fork is polished and I´m not afraid to use it!
6. Hello MargaritaJuicy. I´m sure other blogs protect their existing content with pitch forks, too. Now, go away!
7. Flossie, Margartia… See? This is how a spam needs to look like, you old hags! Irecssgsvaa… spam me anytime!
8. Jeanie, sorry to hear about the job you weren´t good at yet.
9. The conclusion? The supply? Am I at some weird drug dealer debate? Nevermind the compliment about my greatest monthly review… What supplies are we talking about here?
That´s it for this month, bookish folks! I hope you enjoyed my spam treasures! I seriously cannot wait to see what more Larry the singer has in store for me.
Remember the moment when you discovered your Spam Box?
I remember that moment. It took me quite some time to figure out I had a spam box on WordPress, though. Another inbox filled with all kinds of weird crap just waiting to be taken seriously? WOO HOO!
I admit, I had a minor Kelly Bundy moment while looking at the bursting – at – the – seams spam box. ( okay fine. A Mark Wahlberg moment )
But that moment only lasted for about 5 seconds.
Ever since that fateful day, I´ve been blessed with the most questionable – worthy spam comments made on my blog posts. Why are they questionable? Have a seat… I´ll gladly show you what treasures my spam box holds.
Go home, take down. You´re drunk. But I will still take your last line as a compliment.
2. Jack, you don´t hug your parents just to make God happy. That´s absurd. You hug your parents when you need money. Get your facts straight, my man.
3. Jeez. And I thought I was Queen of changing topics.
4. What a coincidence, Herpies. What a coincidence.
5. Go away, CandaceBold. No one asked you for your opinion.
6. The fact that you studied my 7 things about me…. I´m humbled.
See? Highly questionable comments that aren´t even topic related. I must say, though… Jack is my favorite spammer so far.
Be sure to return to my next Spam Box Treasures next month.
Thank you for taking your time to read my blog post.