Boy, time flies when you´re having fun. Not that I´ve had any, mind you. I´ve actually had a very exhausting April. But, I´m not here to point out all the negatives I´ve been through ( although I´m tempted to give you all a big ass rant ) I´ve decided to focus on the positives and throw some negative bits in the mix.
For those of you who are wondering why I haven´t been online much… Well, I haven´t had much to share. And I´m a firm believer in not posting for the sake of posting. I do have quite a lot of material for my blog but haven´t really gotten a chance to work on things much. Mug Mondays, Thank he Books It´s Fridays, Reviews, Discussion posts… It´s all in the works.
So, what positive has April brought us? Let´s start with my all time favorite Sunday filler- Game of Thrones season 8.
Who´s happy the show is back? I´m happy the show is back. Every body part of me is stupidly excited the show is back. The wait has been too long. My desperation level has met its new high. The good news- I now know I´m capable of not forgetting a date for 1,5 years. The bad news- I´m suffering something terrible after the third episode. Good Laaawd, am I a mess now. Another thing that pains me is – We ain´t got much left of Jon Snow and his ridiculously gorgeous half ponytail.
I have read so many theories, so many predictions on how the story will end and I can´t say I´m happy with any of it. I´m a happily ever after type of person. It´s been said the ending of GoT will be bittersweet. I can´t cope.
Just as I can´t cope with the third episode. Good Laaawd, that one did a number on me.
I´m glad we discussed this. It´s time to move on to the next topic. Booktube.
Do you remember ( I´m sure you don´t but I still ask you to humor me ) when I announced wanting to join the Booktube community? Yeah. That went downhill pretty quick. Turns out, I´m not cut out to be a Booktuber. Or, I´m still not sure about the whole thing. I tried sitting in front of a camera and fiddled with the lightings and did a million adjustments… I´ve watched videos from experts on how to get everything right only to realize that Booktube and I aren´t a good match. I´m not as young as I used to be and refuse to bend myself for the sake of getting views. One booktuber´s advice was:
“Always stay positive. No one wants to listen to a rant. And don´t forget to smile.”
And I sat here with my wanna – be psychologist hat on thinking “That shit ain´t healthy.”
I can´t stay positive even if my life depended on it. I am positive but also a realist which can come across as negative. The world has become thirsty for permanent positivity. And smiling? Me? I have a permanent resting bitch face. To force a smile for 5 minutes straight would hurt. And I would look stupid.
So, I let myself get discouraged by some constant positive practitioner. Meeh, I´ll live. I might warm back up to the Booktube idea again sometime in the future, though. You never know.
Now for some much needed book talk.
Looks like 2019 is my reading year. Romance authors are throwing romance novels out left and right and I´m here buying everything that sounds remotely good. I´ve also gotten in the mood to buy some older romance classics. And since books don´t have expiration dates, every older published book will feel like it´s new.
I´ve also recently gotten back in to historical romances, as well. One re-read on the loo has made me fall in love with puffy cotton candy colored dresses and sexually driven dukes again.
There ya have it.
I´m afraid that´s it for this week, my dear bookish Padawans. Prepare yourselves for an onslaught of reviews and other wonderful book topics.
” But the world is getting worse and I blame the beginning of it´s demise on social media.”
– Ricky Gervais
I bet you saw this one coming, didn’t ya? The Art Of `Live And Let live`. Folks, this is exactly what it is. A post about living and leaving others alone.
This is not a click bait.. For the record: I’m not a click bait book blogger so there will be none of that here.
Normally, I´d go ahead and give you a generalized post on my thoughts regarding the topic at hand. I´d throw in some pros and cons and provide some real examples and include my personal opinion. Not this time. I´ve something else in mind.
Stay factual. Stay realistic. Stay diplomatic. Try to stay neutral. That´s what I try to aim for when typing up my posts. For most of the time I reach my own standards. I don´t blog about books and book related topics to unleash hell onto others for the sake of personal pleasure. Why am I even telling you all this?
Well, something happened today. Something that had shocked me. I spotted a tweet on Twitter that hit close to home. And the weird part? It was about my blog post and what it did for other people.
Initially, I had not planned on publishing a post over the weekend. Now I feel like one has to go up. For many of you, this might sound so petty. So annoying. Trust me- I´m just as annoyed. Please bear with me, dear annoyed non participants. My fingers are crossed that this´ll find an end sooner than later. I have just as much important shit to do.
There has been talk regarding my blog posts. Mind you- this isn´t the first time someone disagreed with one of my posts. But it´s the first time I´m seeing a complaint done behind my back.
My life motto is
`Live and let live.`
Unfortunately, this concept is totally alien for many people, It´s easy to live and let live. It´s apparently more fun not to. This also applies for book blogging. Most of the time the things I see happening in the book community are fairly harmless ( by harmless I mean things that don´t have people sobbing in the fetus position at night ). A little bitching here, and a lot of nagging there. Most of the time I find this really great. Opinions are what get conversations rolling. You have an opinion on a topic and share it, even welcome other opinions? I´m in! What I don´t like is when things become personal.
By `live and let live`I´m saying accept what others do and move on. Respect a book bloggers opinion and continue with life as it was.
`Live and let live.`
Yeah. The offended book committee doesn´t share my life philosophy. They say they do but they don´t. Instead, these people make it their mission to keep my name within their radars. Because they were offended by one of my posts.
Which posts, you ask? What could be so awful that have people feeling all sorts of uncomfortable? Even feeling personally attacked?
Excuse me for not being a friend of finger pointing at book bloggers. You don´t post links from a book blogger and bash them in a group because you´re fucking unhappy. Have you no common sense?
A post about how unnecessary I feel it is to feel offended by the fakeness of Instagram. My personal opinion on this subject aside- I was told my post offended people. No one cared about my opinion. And it was a positive opinion. I was pro `live and let live`.
Here´s what happened: I was a new member of a Facebook book group and shared a post of mine. Keep in mind that I had been a member for only a short period of time before I shared a link to one of my blog posts. The first comment I received was from the admin.
” Just read some fucking books.” A sad response from someone I had only exchanged a few words with in a previous post ( she was moody there as well ). Practically a stranger. So, this is how we speak with group members now? I´m appalled by this attitude and behavior. We´re a book blog community. You can dislike my post but you are not allowed to be uncivilized. My post was clean. I had an opinion. Take it or leave it. Don´t tell me my post was offensive when in reality, you just didn´t like it. There´s a difference. See the difference.
I will not lie- this has been my top 2019 post so far. I´ve had dream worthy views ( and still counting ). I´m pretty sure the majority of the views on this post had been from the offended committee. Because, how dare I talk about a subject and publish my link in a group for book bloggers! Shame on me for trying to be a part of a group.
After that I left the group. Because I´m not stupid. Once an attitude, twice an attitude.. I´m not sticking around for round 3. So, I left. I dusted my hands off and moved on. Best decision I had in a long shot. Unfortunately for me, one group member followed me to my blog and thought it would be wise to continue what I ended in the group underneath one of my blog posts. One person hunted me down to give me a piece of her mind. Keep in mind- That pilgrim had her little moment in the group I posted my link in. She wasn´t done, though.
Turns out, I have no empathy because I don´t care about the feelings of others. My post was “harmful”. No, it wasn´t. This discussion was long done for me before the loyal book pilgrim followed me to my blog.
So, people who are offended by posts are allowed to post about their feelings and I am supposed to sit back and accept wordlessly? No. That´s wrong on so many levels.
Then there´s this gem of mine that has caused more than just a stir. This time more people were involved. This is the Twitter post I spotted. The post about my post. A fellow book blogger defended me on her Twitter page and ended up being blocked. Why? Because I published a post about
The title says exactly what´s in this post. I reveal the reasons why I don´t participate in book blog tours anymore. How can this be misunderstood for anything else? And this had the bush drums going in a book blogger group. Not sure if I should laugh, cry, feel flattered, be shocked…
The reasons have stemmed from my personal experiences. Things that have occurred in the span of my 10 year book blogging career. I have not, and will not reveal the names of these book tour organizers because they´ve retired 2 – 5 years ago.
Why has this post about my not participating in blog tours been written? What was my motive? Do I need one? No. But I´ll amuse everyone anyway. It felt right to share my experiences. I wanted to share my stuff and maybe help others even if it´s by showing them that they aren´t alone with this. What´s wrong with that? Should I have not posted about why blog tours don´t work for ME anymore? Should I have worded the whole thing differently just to have the approval of the offended party? No can do. That would go against my book blog religion.
“Some people just don´t care.”
Here´s something to think about:
What would happen ( after having read an experience post of mine ) if the offended person just sat down and asked themselves how this could have happened to a book blogger? The post is open for discussion. Why not get in touch and ask for details. Ask about specifics instead of feeling offended. Because that´s how it looks like from my end of the stick. “I´m offended. I feel attacked.” When it reality my post was never about others. Just me. What is there to feel offended about? Unless these people felt offended on my behalf. Which I highly doubt.
My experiences are my personal facts. You can have your opinion on my opinion but you can´t feel offended by something I´ve dealt with. That´s ridiculous. Unless you´re offended on my behalf. I still doubt that.
To sum this whole thing up:
Believe it or not- I wouldn´t publish anything I don´t like. Should someone feel offended by whatever banal post I deem worthy of publishing then there´s always the option of ignoring me.
It´s simple. If you´re not convinced then try it out for yourselves. It works wonders for me.
People, if you are not able to live and let live then at least try! Try for the sake of peace. You can have a good rant. Make a post out of the topic you want to rant about. Ranting is healthy. The behavior I´ve been unofficially subjected to ( because, technically, I haven´t seen the post in the actual Facebook group. Just saw the tweet and was informed by a blogger friend ) is a low form of confrontation. Behind my back. A questionable act against someone who can´t defend themselves because they´re not in the group anymore.
Here´s another thing to consider:
It was clear the person and I weren´t able to meet eye to eye from the start ( although I tried ). The most logical thing to do would be if both went on our merry ways. I did that. The other person didn´t. The fact that this person has been checking on my posts tells me the person is just waiting for something to feel offended about.
The person who targeted my post stated she had planned to comment on my post at first. She didn´t. I´m now grateful she decided against it. God knows how many more gray hairs I would have gained after a chitchat.
I am not interested in a discussion with this person anymore. Not now, not ever. Should this person reach out to me for whatever reason I will not react. I´ve reacted enough already. The offended parade is officially over. It´s time to move on.
Here´s a kind reminder for the future book blog community: Stop being fucking dicks.
And start working on social skills. Learn how to agree to disagree. Learn how to respect opinions. Learn to live and let live.
On a side note:
I´d like to give a huge hug to the person who posted that tweet. She didn´t tag me and I will not tag her because she has been through enough already by defending my blog post and herself. And of course a Thank You to the person who sent me the screenshot via DM. Thank you. This is what book blogging should be about. Helping each other and standing up for one another. Because what hurts one of us can hurt another book blogger if we keep silent. Thank you, both.
On another side note:
No book blogger should ever stay silent when they feel they´ve been wronged. Speak up. And if you´re not the type then get in touch with a fellow blogger. We don´t just write reviews. We´re a community.
This has been a long post. Much longer than I wanted it to be. My first thought was to dismiss this whole idea of standing up for myself. But I couldn´t. I could be helping others. I want to help others.
What I don´t want it to approach this subject ever again. It´s done. The joke is around the corner. It´s time to read and review and do other fun shit.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you belong to the people who were offended by my posts then do yourselves a favor- Don´t bother commenting. I don´t appreciate wasting my time discussing my crystal clear posts with you. I am not interested.
If you´ve been through the same situation or know someone who has dealt with something similar.. Feel free to share. I´d be more than happy to chat. ❤
Much love and don´t forget to share the book love,
Friday! I´ve missed you something fierce! Before we carry on we need to give Chuck the Thank Fuck Friday Squirrel some love.
It´s been one of those eventful weeks, my bookish Padawans. To be honest- I haven´t had a schedule this packed in a long while. From Monday till this very day… I´ve been swamped with work, appointments, and other things that make me hate being an adult.
The only thing ( aside from reading ) that has brough me joy was watching Norsemen on Netflix.
I have a ritual at night before I go to bed: Watch a history documentary or a documentary on Australians 72 most deadliest animals ( just to inform myself on what I´ll be missing out on while visiting countries that don´t have deadly animals ). I was in a history mood and couldn´t find anything interesting on Sky ( for those who don´t know what Sky is: It´s like Netflix just more organized ) So I found what I thought would be a documentary on Vikings. I received more than just a docu. . So hilarious. So weird. So my kind of humor. They say Norsemen is Norways finest export. I agree. The slaves are by far my favorite characters. If you haven´t already I really recommend watching this series. It´s so SO damn funny.
So what else have I done this week besides run around like a headless chicken? Aah, yes. I caught up on some reading. March is a birthday month for my social circle so I can´t get too invested in any heavy reading. Right now I decided to give an easy romance my attention. The lady from my preferred bookstore recommended this “light” 374 page chick – lit romance.
She said `I Owe You One` by Sophie Kinsella is a perfect quick read for in between reads. PERFECT! I´m currently on page 69 and can´t say I have any complaints yet. It´s sweet and has a great pace. I´m still suspicious, though. Can´t really trust books these days, can we? Fingers crossed this one won´t be another let down.
As for the blogging bit- I´ve been super productive!
Somewhere between going to the dentist, doing school projects, reading, working, etc… I´ve managed to get some blogging done, as well. And not just working on my own stuff but also going through my WordPress Reader! Yippie! I even discovered new blogs.
** sigh ** It truly feels good to be productive.
Since it´s been a busy week I decided to do nothing this weekend. No plans. No visiting anyone. Nothing. Just spend my days in ratty sweats with the tv remote control in my death grip.
Many might find this awful but for me, there´s nothing more interesting than having a stay in weekend. ❤ I live for these moments.
What about you? What are your plans for the weekend? What will you be reading? Are you going out? Let me know in the comments below!
That´s about it, folks. Time to get my sweats ready because I have a few hours left before the true laziness begins!
Wishing everyone a safe and wonderful time. See you all on Monday!
I´m going to skip all pleasantries and head straight for the Thank Fuck squirrel.
You´ll never guess what a week I´ve had. Seriously. Especially yesterday. Jesus Christ on a popsicle…. Remember my last post? Well, it caused quite a stir.
I guess I struck a chord with my discussion post. Apparently, fake coffee and a somewhat neutral opinion can do that.
Oh! * waves hands enthusiastically * Guess what? I started reading again.
I thought I´d never find my reading mojo again. But it´s back and I´m more than thrilled about it. So thrilled that I started 2 books. You know, sometimes I truly believe I can´t be helped anymore. Instead of concentrating on 1 book I dive right in to 2.
But, I´m reading again and that´s the only thing that matters. Now I´m concentrating on `The Kiss Thief` by L.J. Shen.
You know I love me some great cover image. I thought this was just one beautiful piece of princessy pretty. The lace, the crown, the filters…. Now that I´ve had a closer look at the actual print version I can´t say I´m rooting for the cover as much anymore. There appears to be an antique filter over the image and now everything looks too overdone. Or am I imagining things? Help a book babe out!
Print Copy Version
See what I mean? My print copy ( right pic ) is a little more blurred and yellowish.
Needless to say – I decided to continue `The Kiss Thief` and hope to all that´s pink and fluffy it´s worth the money I spent.
The other book I started is a dearly beloved hyped read I´ve been avoiding for years! All I´m going to say is that it´s by Sarah J. Maas and I´m terrified.
I also spent some time questioning what went wrong with my ability to be a parent. Because when an angry parent calls you and tells you what their kid heard my daughter say at the playground is not always great.
“Your daughter told my daughter that her dad, your HUSBAND, said that only great songs have the word fuck in them.”
You know, you sort of try to learn from the mistakes you made with your first kid. I guess husbutt didn´t get the memo.
And I did what any respectable parent would do in that situation.
I told the parent that their kid must have misheard my kid. Speaking with missing front teeth can be adventurous then proceeded to give both husbutt and my youngest death glares.
From now on husbutt can deal with angry parents. I have officially retired. I tried my best and decided that the universe needs more cocktails.
So, that´s it for this week. Angry comments, angry parents, and a book I truly hope will knock the wind out of my sails because I need that positive blow.
How has your week been? What are your plans for the weekend?
Yes, it´s my favorite day of the week, dear bookish Padawans. And what a week it´s been. I was amused, shocked, stunned… I´m glad I survived.
Let´s all greet Mr. T. F. Squirrel before we proceed.
Very happy to see you, too T. F. Squirrel.
I swear, this week has been super taxing. I finally found a cure for this hellish flu. The key is to pump yourself with vitamin C. I had a minor skin break out from all the oranges and lemons I ate the past week. But hey, I don´t feel like dying in the a.m. anymore, so that´s a plus, right?
Then there was my apocalyptic B-day on Wednesday. Not only did I call my family in the States ( to thank them for the Valentine´s – Birthday cards ) to remind them for the x-th time that my birthday ISN`T on Valentines day, I also had to let the 37 sink in. Meeh, I did that over cheese cake so it wasn´t that bad. My daughters asked how old I am now- And because I know both are worse than the newspaper with their gossip I told them I just turned 30. Word has spead already. #VillageLife
Speaking of Valentine´s Day- Am I the only one happy it´s over? Seriously, all the pink hearts and flowers and love declarations…. Do we need a special day for all that?
Let´s dive in to the book world now!
Evil tongues claim there are people accusing others for cheating on Instagram. Okay, fine. I´m the evil tongue who has been spying on certain online personalities and has noticed there´s a small “fake coffee” war going on. And it´s quite a vicious one, too. I swear, someone always has to share their shit fit about some petty issue and act like a victim. And here I thought this book community was a full on hugger place.
But do not fear, friends ( and all you fake coffee victims )… I have a post about that scheduled for the upcoming week. Who´s excited? I`M EXCITED!
I still haven´t been able to read this week. Trust me- I had such a hard time acting like I wasn´t home on Wednesday. I spent all my energy on my hiding skills. Now I have no excuse as to why I haven´t read. This will be my last excuse.
Okay, bookish Padawans…
It´s time to bid you all farewell. I hope you enjoyed the Friday gossip ( even if there was a little ).