How Many Books Fit In A Small Hardshell Suitcase?

Remember all my little reminder posts about me going to the RARE´19 London book signing? Well, I thought it was time to organize a suitcase. To my utter shame, I don´t own a medium or small suitcase. When I travel, it´s usually with a duffle bag, backpack or a larger sports bag ( I apparently like to carry shit ).

As I was complaining to my bestie about having to buy a suitcase for my 24 hour London trip ( that´s right. I´m flying in Saturday morning and flying back out Sunday morning ) she mentioned I could use hers.

 

Me and me

 

The signing isn´t due for another few weeks. I didn´t need to get the suitcase right away. But I kind of did. I´m at an author signing event with 150 authors. There´s a high possibility I´m coming home with books. So, I need to plan things out.

 

How many books am I able to fit into a small hard-shell suitcase?

 

First, let´s look at the suitcase I´ll be traveling with. The idea is to fly in with a nearly empty suitcase and fly back with hopefully something that doesn´t weigh more than 20-ish kilos.  The object at hand:

 

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The size looks fairly decent, right? And it´s pink. It´ll be easy to spot at the luggage belt.  It was time to start my experiment. Sloppy Book Tetris:

 

OPTION #1

 

 

10 semi-large books ( and a hoodie ). 400-500+ page books with a few 280-page books thrown in.  To say I was surprised would be an understatement. Hell, I thought I wouldn´t be able to fit any inside. Not bad. Not bad, at all. ( excuse my purse in the background )

 

OPTION #2 

 

 

15  230+ page novels ( and a hoodie ) fit in the small hard-shell suitcase  ( excuse the remote control in the right pic ).

 

And the best part? I still have a little room for 1-3 books with either option! I think I got this book luggage down.

So, to answer the question in the title- 10 large paperbacks and 15 thinner novels ( give or take a few ) fit in a small-sized hard-shell suitcase. That, and a hoodie AND a small vanity bag I stole from my daughter ( because I don´t have one of those, either ).

In case anyone has questions about packing a suitcase for a book signing… Just ask me. I feel like a damn pro now.

That´s it for today, my dear book-loving people. I hope this was somewhat helpful and less boring. We´ll talk about this again when it´s due day and I´m in full panic mode.

 

Feel hugged and loved,

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I Spied With My Bookish Eye: Busy Book Covers

Creativity has no limits…

…so they say.

Personally, I believe there should be a few limits when it comes to book cover art. The whole idea is to leave a positive lasting impression. Authors should want their books to have that wow-effect. It´s what triggers interest.

When I say `busy` I mean that a book cover image has more than one image. Most of the time there are story binding images of objects thrown into the mix for good measure.

While some authors/cover designers do a marvelous job at creating stunning book cover designs, others tend to over-do things. And more often than not, we´re presented with designs that raise questions.

As Coco Chanel once said ( and others before her ), ” Less is more.

Oh, I almost forgot- Before I continue I´d like to add a kind note:

KR Info opinion

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Alas, here are some book covers that could have used less.


#1

All In ( #2 Blackstone Affair ) – Raine Miller

All In

First Reaction: Confused
First Thought: They´re going to a casino now?!
Let´s Talk: It´s been a few years since I read The Blackstone Affair books by author Raine Miller. These romance books were a huge hit back in the day. The cover for ´All In` ( book #2 ) is, in my opinion, the least nicest to look at. Although the large black/white image on the upper half is okay, I think the details on the bottom half are a bit too much. Cards, chips and Big Ben? There are more than three fonts. All that´s killing my vibes a little. Back then I thought the cover was too busy. I haven´t changed my mind.

#2

Code Name: Ghost – Sawyer Bennett

( NR )

Code Name Ghost

First Reaction: Holy Hell
Let´s Talk: I haven´t read `Code Name: Ghost` by author Sawyer Bennett and I don´t think I will, either. The cover is extremely busy and quite revealing if you ask me. There´s an over-filtered guy looking like he has a headache, a city and… dog tags? Oh, come on. I mean- if this is what was chosen then by all means… but I think the image would have been a tad better without the photoshopped in tags ( it certainly wouldn´t have made the image less chaotic ). Personally, I think the whole cover is the definition of chaos. The fonts + the scenery + the guy + the dog tags… All that´s missing is a feather.

#3

Roustabout – Jane Harvey – Berrick

ROustabout

First Thought: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Let´s Talk: Jane Harvey – Berrick has been one of my favorite authors ever since I read her back then-controversial romance `The Education of Sebastian`. When I saw the cover for `Roustabout`I nearly fell off my chair. What is happening with that cover image?! A guy on a bike ( okay ), a blonde doing the half turn – off-shoulder leather jacket -move ( okay ), there´s a road ( hmm ), and those twinkling lights in the sunburned sky? I can´t tell you what to focus on first. The story deserves a less busy cover.

#4

The Consequence Of Rejection – Rachel Van Dyken

( NR )

The Consequence Of Rejection

First Reaction: Defeated sigh
Let´s Talk: I´ve read most of Rachel Van Dyken´s books but I haven´t read `The Consequence Of Rejection`. And from the looks of it- I probably won´t read it. The cover… Either someone wasn´t able to make up their mind or someone thought they were being creative. There are two too many images. Again, I´m not interested in the fact that the cover is story bound- It´s the visibility I´m after. And right now all I see is three faded images in a collage style and a font that doesn´t work with the whole thing. Someone should have remembered what Coco Chanel said.

#5

Make Me – Jessica Lee

( NR )

Make Me ( Romance )

First Thought: Is it alive?!

Let´s Talk: Seriously, is it? Jokes aside- What am I looking at? Book info says this is a Romance, Fantasy, Paranormal, Shapeshifter, M/M story. With bondage? His ass is baboon red, the other half of the guy´s body is… Okay, so those are eyes on top. Oh, Jesus Christ on a popsicle… Someone wanted to win the creativity award with this one. When in doubt- Never mix images. Stick with one. Doesn´t matter which one just do it.


What are your thoughts on busy book covers? Do you like them/ dislike them or are you not bothered by them? Let me know in the comments below. I´d love to chat. ❤


Thank you for reading this blog post. I hope you enjoyed.

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10 Most Revealing Book Titles

Hold your knickers in place, folks, because this is going to be a special awkward post on the 10 Most Revealing Book Titles! Because the internet doesn´t have enough of these `Top 10 Most…` posts.

Don´t tell me you didn´t see this coming. Seriously, you just had to know I´d not only want to reduce myself to examining book cover images. Nu-uh, mister / missy. I´m going to take this a step further and tackle book titles, too!

Because there´s a whole book universe filled with crazy, suspicious, revealing book titles out there, especially in the Lit-world.

We´re all good at judging a book by its cover. I say a title deserves just as much judgement.

A book title is important. Just as with the cover image, the title represents a book. The title has to be just as eye-catching as the cover image to grab a reader´s attention. Besides, a book without a title is going to be a bitch to find. Can you image the chaos title – less books would create in our world? I´m not going to even try imagining that because my brain will probably start to hurt after 5 minutes.

Remember the part where I mention how a title represents a book? Yeah, some writers / authors ( whoever the foo foo picks a title ) take this little aspect too far and reveal the who story – Just with a few words. And some…. * bracing myself for this one * just don´t give a hoot or they give too much of a hoot- thinking they´ve gone all creative with their book titles. These people haven´t understood the meaning of `make or break`. In many cases, authors tend to break more than make.

Another thing I´d like to add is: If you have a wild imagination ( like myself ) and find humor in almost everything in life ( even book titles. ESPECIALLY book titles ) then you´ll have a hard time finding a title that´s actually interesting instead of humorous. For example: When I see a book in a bookstore with the title `What If It´s Us`my mind will immediately create a convo that looks something like this: “What if it´s NOT us, huh? What if it´s the other guy with the comb – over in aisle 3? What if I was a giant? Would they let me have all the corn flakes boxes for free?” Do you feel my pain? No?

Still, `What If Its Us`is, despite my weird ways, a great title. It´s catchy. It makes me want to find out more about the book. The title doesn´t spoil the story.

Nevertheless – Book titles are a matter of taste. What I find weird doesn´t mean it IS weird.

Here are my 10 Most Revealing Book Titles! Feel free to chip in the comments below if you agree or disagree with this list of quirky and questionable book titles.

  1. Drive Me Wild – Julie Kriss

I see what ya doin´there. A guy with arms as thick as my thighs, tatts and a little thumb to lip action… add the revealing title and I know without reading the blurb what the book is about. Do I find the title catchy enough? Nope. Ain´t nothing driving me wild here.

drive me wild

 

2. Good Gone Bad – Giana Darling

I really appreciate not having to buy this book now because I know the story has a character that´s gone from good to bad. And by the looks of the guy´s face in the image… He looks like he´s giving me the “You really sure about getting this book?” look while escaping prison. Is the title catchy? Not for me. Too revealing and not interesting enough for me.

good gone bad

3. Once Upon A Texas Christmas – Katherine Garbera

Of course. A Texas Christmas. Gottcha. I predict Texas and Christmas. My gut tells me I´m not far from the truth. Aside from the fact that I loathe Christmas romance novels I´d say this would never be something I´d want to buy. Is the title catchy? No. It´s too long and something people can easily oversee, unless they´re looking for this particular type of read.

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4. Uncockblockable – Shay Savage

Damn! What a title. To tell you the truth, I wouldn´t know what to do with a book with that title. Probably never read it because it has the word cock in it. Look, I have a potty mouth and can be vulgar with the right company… but the word ´cock´doesn´t necessarily belong in a book title. I might be alone with this opinion but hey… it´s a turn off for me. Also, the title is placed in the worst place ever. On a shirt? The author´s name is more prominent than the title. Do I think the title is catchy? Yeah, for the wrong reason.

uncockblockable

5. Possessed By The Vampire – Kellie McAllen

Is this some weird spanky spanky vampire romance? If so, then I´ll pass. Is this perhaps a romanticized bloodsucker tale about a young woman who is mad with lust and a vampire who´s dying to control the young woman´s libido? Is that an Aztec temple in the background?! Do I think the title is catchy? NO! The title is a tad too tacky for my taste.

possessed by the vampire

 

6. The Bull Rider´s Christmas Baby – Laura Marie Altom

Understood. The baby is due on Christmas. His/her father is a bull rider who I assume is also a cowboy ( the hat is a dead giveaway ). No more details needed now. I can go to bed at night knowing I skipped this potential brilliant read that has Christmas feels, a cowboy / bull rider and a baby in it. Is the title catchy? Absolutely not.

bullriders christmas baby

7. The Hero And The Hacktivist – Pippa Grant

Thank you, dear person who picked the title. It would have been a bitch finding out what the characters do for a living while reading. Who wants to do that anyway? Reading is too much work. The more you reveal on the cover the better. Do I find the title catchy? I find the cover flippin´lazy.

The Hero and The Hacktivist

 

8. Held Captive By The Cavemen – Shoshanna Evers

Tell us more, dear person who was in charge of the title. Would be a shame to leave out all the other bullet pointers. Do I find this title catchy? Uuhm… I don´t know what to think. I can´t stop all the naughty comebacks in my mind for this title.

held captive

 

9.   The Loneliest Alpha – T. A. Grey

Oh, this is a bit depressing. The alpha is not just lonely – He´s the loneliest Alpha, probably from all Alphas existing. He ain´t looking so lonely on the cover image, though. Hey, Alpha of all Alphas, explain yourself! You´re sending off some mixed signals here. Do I find the title catchy? Good Laawd, no.

the loneliest alpha

 

10. Everyone Poops – Taro Gomi

* slamming hands on table * I KNEW IT! Lol. This is by far my favorite weird book title because it´s not only weird, it´s double weird because it´s for children. I don´t know about you but I think the poop topic doesn´t need further explanation because there´s no avoiding the act itself. Why this needs a book is beyond me. What would book #2 look like? `Everyone Poops Different Shapes and Sizes`?

everyone poops

 

That´s it for now, dear bookish Padawans. Don´t worry, though…There´s more to this category than you could ever imagine. A whole book universe filled with weird book titles. Stay tuned. ❤

But before I leave…

Do you have a favorite book title that reveals too much of everything? Let me know in the comments below. ❤


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Book Series Review: Consequences #1-#4, Aleatha Romig

Book Series

Consequences

Books

Consequences ( #1 ), Behind His Eyes: Consequences ( #1.5 )  Tony´s POV,
Truth ( #2 ), Behind His Eyes: Truth ( #2.5 ) Tony´s POV
Convicted ( #3 ), Revealed: The Missing Years ( #4 )  Tony´s POV

Author

Aleatha Romig

Genre

Dark, Romance, Adult Fiction

 

 

 

synopsis book 1

Consequences ( Consequences #1 )

 

Every action has consequences.

Waking in an unfamiliar bedroom in a luxurious mansion, Claire Nichols is terrified to discover that a chance encounter led her into the cruel hands of her abductor, Anthony Rawlings. Claire has no understanding of why she’s there, but it’s been made abundantly clear–she is now his acquisition and every action has consequences.

Learn the rules to survive.

Facing incomprehensible circumstances, Claire must learn to survive her new reality–every aspect of her livelihood depends upon the tall, dark-eyed tycoon who is a true master of deception. Driven by unknown demons, he has no tolerance for imperfection, in any aspect of his life, including his recent acquisition. Anthony may appear to the world as a handsome, benevolent businessman, but in reality Claire knows firsthand that he’s a menacing, controlling captor with very strict rules: do as you’re told, public failure is not an option, and appearances are of the utmost importance.

Captivate the captor.

To fit together the pieces of the puzzle, Claire must follow his rules. Will her plan work, or will Anthony become enthralled by Claire’s beauty, resilience, and determination, changing the game forever? If that happens, will either of them survive the consequences?

My Thoughts 2

An exceptional read that´ll leave a reader confused, stunned, irritated, repulsed and in awe. When I read this book ( which was back in 2013 ) I had no clue what I was getting myself into. Mental abuse is the head theme and I never, not in all the years I´ve been reading, have ever read such a proper mind – fuck romance. Yes, romance. Hard to believe after having read Tony and Claire´s story, that this series is a romance. And somewhere hidden between the mind games, abuse and controlling behavior, there is flick of romance. It´s subtle and, quite frankly, fucked up beyond words, but it´s there.

Opinions on this story go way apart. There´s hardly anyone I know who think this book is “just okay”. It´s a Love or Hate type of read and everyone has a strong opinion regarding `Consequences `. consequences

I admit- I found this book hard to take in. The Heroine made a minor mistake and she paid for her slip dearly under the hands of Tony, the Hero. His motives weren´t clear and that made him come across as an unforgiving POS who deserved a boiling hot oil bath twice a day. Claire adjusted to her new life, accepting whatever Tony handed her, and it wasn´t pretty ( or it was pretty but it felt disgusting ).

This is a slow burn story. Even the little mind fucks are slow and add up even slower. That´s exactly what makes this a captivating read. It´s a train wreck you can´t look away from.

NOTE: Although `Consequences` has been categorized as Erotica, it is not an erotica read. There is a little sex involved but the main focus is on the story.

The downside I fought through: Repetitive words. When you´re invested in a story and you get one word thrown at you all the time. That´s something I can´t stand. I´m sure there are synonyms for the word “compartmentalize”.  Why not aim to use a synonym instead of over-using one word?

The book ends with a big bang. No, wait. The end actually feels more like a hard slap across your face. I didn´t know what to feel or what to think when I finished book one. To be honest- I didn´t even know if I liked the story or not. A massive cliffhanger.

The end, alone, deserves 5 stars.


 

synopsis book 2

Truth ( Consequences #2 )

Claire survived the consequences. 

Through strength and compartmentalization, Claire Nichols captivated her captor. Though Anthony Rawlings thought he taught Claire to behave, his domination became desire, and his obsession morphed into love. Or was it? When her choices pushed Anthony’s relentless vendetta too far, Claire barely survived the consequences. 

Discover the truth.

Now, armed with new information and more questions than answers, Claire works to uncover the truth behind the dangerous game at play. As she begins anew, she must decide whom she can truly trust, especially with a new set of players on the move.

New set of rules.

With everything to lose and a manipulative game master controlling the board, Claire and Tony duel by a new set of rules. When thrust together once again, can they learn to trust each other to overcome new dangers? Or will this be Tony’s second attempt at domination? Can Claire resist the man she’d never before been able to resist? Hatred and love. Deception and truth. Old habits and new beginnings. As this real-life game of chess plays out, past sins will come to light and new secrets will be revealed. With so much riding on each move, the stakes have never been higher.

My Thoughts 2

The word “compartmentalization” is even in the synopsis. Wonderful. * eye roll *
Claire and Tony´s story continues, only this time it´s a little less nerve wrecking and a lot more exciting.

In `Truth` we get a truth, but not THE truth. consequences 2

But do we want the truth after reading `Consequences`?

As it says in the synopsis- It´s a real life game of chess and it turned out that Tony wasn´t the only one good at the game. Claire survived the consequences but she also learned from them.

What I liked most about this book ( because second installments are always deeper and exciting ) is how well-balanced everything is. Secrets surface, heart stopping events happen, a love I never thought would blossom blossomed, more characters were introduced… The story undergoes a major shift. A reader has time to appreciate new shock moments and still focus on everything else because the pace was… perfect. Plus the romance pushes through in this one, which I really enjoyed. Knowing what happened in book #1 and then seeing a relationship ( even if it´s toxic ) unfold is… weird, in an oddly positive way.

The downside: Again… compartmentalization.

I would definitely say this is the best book of the whole series because it has more action. More nail bite worthy events. More scenes that call for loud shoutings and yelling because the characters made a wrong move on the real life chess board.

This book deserves 5 stars.


synopsis book 3

Convicted ( Consequences #3 )

Stick to your convictions.

Against all odds, Claire and Tony have found their way back to one another, but it doesn’t mean a happy ever after. Not even close. Just when they seemed to have it all—love, respect, and the promise of a family—the game master exposes the truth and Claire’s world once again unravels. With old convictions wavering and past transgressions coming to light, the cards have changed and luck is not in the deck for Claire and Tony.

Abandon all assumptions.

Lost in a constant nightmare, who will save Claire from her past? From herself? Everyone has a hand to play, and now they’re playing for keeps. Everything known to be true is questioned. Motives are explained. The past is once again unearthed, and this time, secrets lurk between dreams and reality, between the past and the present.

The clock is ticking.

Time is running out on Claire…on Tony…on their happy ever after. When the final cards are played, will their unconventional love trump the opposition?

In the end, some will discover their bets were too high, and all will learn the most crucial lesson—there are always consequences for the truth.

 

My Thoughts 2

Against all odds, my ass. They should never have met in the first place.
`Convicted` ( #3 ) is my least favorite from the series as it has major time leaps.Consequences 3

Past, present, future. All three crammed into one book. Add a side story that´s connected to the actual story and you´ll find yourself spending your nights trying to keep up. I´m not a fan of time leaps because they usually don´t add value to a story ( for me ). Unfortunately, these time laps from the past to present, from present to future and back, do play a significant role in this story. You have to pay attention or else you´ll be forced to go back and reread. Then all the characters! Damn. In the end I decided to name every sub character Michael, because it was easier.

The story finds an end. But did I like how things ended? Most certainly not! Some characters were in jail, someone ended up in a mental facility, and others tried to screw others over.

This book felt like a glorified rat race.

3 stars


Informative Note

Before we continue with reviews for books #1.5, #2.5 and #4  it´s probably good to know that all three books are from Tony´s POV. All three have been published after books #1,#2 and #3 and have been read in the same order ( first books #1, #2, #3 then books #1.5, #2.5 and #4. Readers can read the books according to reading order, #1, #1.5, #2, #2.5, etc )

 

synopsis 1.5

Behind His Eyes: Consequences ( #1.5 )

What was Tony thinking? 

Control? Acquisition? Domination? Love? Behind His Eyes – Consequences explores significant scenes as well as behind-the-scenes moments from the first book of the Consequencesseries. 

Not a total re-write, this companion explores the mind of the man who thought he set the rules and delivered the consequences. 

From the beginning. 

Anthony Rawlings has the perfect world: money, influence, and power. Everything in his life is and has always been planned, executed, and predicted… until Claire. How long can he deny what is right before him? Experience the rare opportunity to see this esteemed man’s world change, from behind his eyes. 

It is always darkest before the light. 

Through significant scenes, experience the dark journey into the mind of the man who believes that he controls everything yet controls nothing. Share his thoughts as glitches are overcome and accidents are survived. 

For the avid reader of the Consequences series, it is recommended that this companion be read after Consequences, Truth, Convicted, and Revealed for more insight into the man who: 

“Once upon a time, she signed a napkin that he knew was a contract. As an esteemed businessman, he forgot one very important rule. He forgot to read the fine print. It wasn’t an acquisition to own another person as he’d previously assumed. It was an agreement to acquire a soul.” — Aleatha Romig, Convicted

 

My Thoughts 2

I usually stay far away from additional POVs because, most of the time, they never add any quality to a story. It´s just a ” what he / she / the neighbor thought”.

So, why did I decide to read ` Behind His Eyes: Consequences`? My ex- co – blogger urged me to read it. This book wasn´t your typical POV swap. So, I trusted her and she did not disappoint. Or, the author did not disappoint. behind his eyes

Throughout the first 3 books I kept asking myself ( and the book ) ” What the hell is wrong with that guy?”. Well, in `Behind His Eyes` my question was answered. He wasn´t just a sick bastard. He was a sick bastard who was on a mission. When a powerful, influential man has an idea then you can bet his ideas are well structured and thought through.

Of course, the story is the same except for Tony. A reader gets the chance to see what goes on in that beautiful twisted head of his. And I can tell you- It was worth it. I can´t say I fully understood his screwed mind – set but it truly was entertaining. Personally, I would have killed the bastard… but I´m just a reader. And Tony isn`t real ( Thank God for that ).

5 stars

 


synopsis 2.5

Behind His Eyes: Truth ( Consequences # 2.5 )

 

Truth is relative.

By delivering the consequences, Anthony has proven he is a man of his word. With one promise complete, he must face the truth of his emotions regarding Claire Nichols. Is it too late? Can a man who had never been forgiven accept forgiveness? Can that man forgive? 

Not a total re-write, this companion explores the thoughts of the man who discovers that the truth is not always what it seems. 

Secrets exposed.

As past sins and motivations are revealed, Behind His Eyes Truth explores the recurring questions: What was Tony thinking? Who can he trust? Through significant scenes and behind-the-scenes moments, learn how Tony’s well-designed existence is incomplete. 
The acquisition of a soul. 

Experience the journey into the mind of the man who slowly realizes that there is more to life than money and power. Witness his thoughts as his control is not only challenged but lost, and as he comes to terms with the new truth. 

 

My Thoughts 2

Again, same story only told from Tony´s view. There´s not much I can say that I haven´t said before. `Behind His Eyes: Truth` is a great story, weird characters, confusing and frustrating.behind his eyes truth

Tony does have a “I found Jesus” moment and thankfully, that lasts. He´s still a calculating bastard, even if his actions are more explained and his twisted mind slows a little.

4 stars


 

synopsis 4

Revealed: The Missing Years ( Consequences #4 )

The unexpected fourth novel of the Consequences series, REVEALED: The Missing Years is…

Readers saw what happened on that fateful afternoon at the Rawlings Estate and heard about the aftermath. This fourth novel of the series is told through the men in Claire Nichols’ life and fills in the gap of time that was only previously mentioned. Like dominoes falling in a line, Revealed allows readers to experience the shocking repercussions one by one, and witness their effect on everyone in the game.  

Share the struggle as Anthony Rawlings fights for what is his as the crashing consequences of his past threatens to change his world forever. Join Harrison Baldwin as he discovers the truth that threatens his beliefs, and John Vandersol as he come to terms with his revelations. Witness as Phillip Roach decides with whom his loyalties lie, and Brent Simmons demonstrates the meaning of friendship—no matter the cost. 

Readers of this series survived the Consequences, learned the Truth, and know who was Convicted, but that is not all. Do not assume that Tony and Claire’s story is complete, because beyond the conclusion of Convicted there is more to be REVEALED

 

My Thoughts 2

I wasn´t too keen on having the missing years revealed. Yet, I still found myself reading the last book in the series. Why? Beats me. Maybe because I thought I´d find closure? I guess I´ll never find the energy to want to find that one out.

I wouldn´t say `Revealed: The Missing Years ( #4 ) was a complete waste of my time but in the end… I felt that I didn´t need it.

3 stars.

 



 

Would I recommend this series? Yes and no. Yes, because it´s really gripping and will evoke all sorts of emotions from a reader, no matter if they´re positive or negative. A reader will feel. No, because this series does have strong triggering topics. Mental and physical abuse are the loudest themes. And this is coming from someone who has a high tolerance level regarding these themes. To be read with caution.

Would I reread this book? No. As much as I liked feeling every available emotion known to mankind, I cannot find the energy to have another go with this series. It´s mentally exhausting and I just want to kill the Hero.


The Covers – 3 stars.

The covers aren´t for me. Especially the covers for #1.5, #2.5 and #4. Those eyes look a little creepy and feel out of place. I think the author would have been better off changing color themes.

 

The Story – 5 stars.

How to keep this short and sweet? This is one fucked up mental job romance that´s worth reading. I never thought I´d find myself saying I fully enjoyed a screwed and twisted romance like this one.

The Characters – 4 stars.

Aside from Tony being a brilliant mastermind with major issues I found Claire to be just as multi – faceted. Some of the additional characters could have stayed away from the big picture, though.

My emotional state after finishing this series- Exhausted. Pooped. Emotionally drained.

 

This series can be found online or in a bookstore near you!

 

Instagram Book Feature Morgana´s Book Box

 

 

Ridiculous Book Sex

Alas, a subject I have been dying to write about. A topic that needs further discussion.

Sex in books.

Romance readers want to have a good time while reading. They want the heartache, the sappy moments, etc. If a romance has the whole package, including good sex scenes, then it´s a total win for us readers.

Reality has taught us that sex can be loads of fun ( If done right, of course. ) and reading about it in a book that has a drop-dead-gorgeous male protagonist in it makes the head theater much more fun.

When I´m reading an erotic romance I´m literally waiting for a good sex scene with great sex. You know- the mind-blowing kind. The kind of sex in books that take a reader to a complete new level of horniness. I´m not talking about reading a porn….I´m referring to a romance / erotica novel that has sex in it. ( okay….maybe erotica novels come pretty close to porn, or not. What do I know?!)

In my opinion – reading about sex cannot be compared to pornography because… Well, characters in books have background stories and go through emotional highs and lows. Porn doesn´t. Although, my husband disagrees with me on that one. Just the other day he tried to convince me that porn movies have an actual plot. * Hangs head * Romance novels keep it real to a certain extent.

ANYWAYS…. Back to book sex:
I bow before any author who writes about sex. Period. I cannot imagine how hard it is to write about 2 people screwing and gushing their feelings for each other. Some authors have so much talent in that department. I often ask myself if those scenes came from personal experience or if it´s just a thought up scene. Imagined. Either way…..I love extremely well written, fully described, sensual, intimate sex scenes in novels. Nothing makes me more happy to know someone put a lot of thought into a scene like that. It´s actually pretty cool if you think about it.

But then there are authors who just write about sex. You know…..the questionable kind. The kind that puts huge question marks on my panties instead of making them change their color.

Now- this is a subject we all can discuss to no end because everyone has a different opinion on what good sex is. Which is fine by me. We all have different tastes, right? I´m not judging anyone if they like to read about any type of bed sports. To each is their own. But in some cases ( no matter what kind of sex I´m talking about) the sex is too much to take in. It´s also almost tacky. Tasteless. 

Authors often over-do it with their sex scenes. I´m not talking about all authors. I´m only referring to 75% of self published writers who include sex in their romances.

I consider myself still young, with being 35. I´m practically living in the best years of my life. But not even I find it sexy to read about characters who screw at every given opportunity. I can´t, by all that´s holy, visualize a sex marathon that goes on and on and on without feeling some sort of mental exhaustion after a while.

You have to keep in mind that I´m 35, not 20. I have a hard time keeping up with fictional characters these days because all they want to do is have sex. Even if I wanted to, I couldn´t have as much sex as book characters have. It´s as if these fictional characters are trying to compete with rabbits.

I know that the stories I read ( especially in the romance/erotica world) aren´t meant to be realistic. Still…..cut me some slack here- At some point, a Heroine has to start walking like John Wayne after she´s been well screwed / shagged / fucked by the sex-God from down the road. I´d definitely need a weeks worth of bed rest if were a female protagonist from any sex loaded novel.

I live in Europe…which means people over here are confronted with sex on a daily basis in a healthy way. Sex is apart of life. No need to shut up about it.   Either people like it kinky, or they don´t. No one is utterly fazed or shocked over here. So, before anyone gives me the ” Prude” stamp- keep in mind that I´m as open-minded as anyone can be. You cannot shock me with sexual acts or dirty talk, or what-not. I just do not appreciate bad / too much sex in a book. That just distracts from the actual plot. Or a terrible dialogue, for that matter.

An author can make their characters as kinky as they want them to be…I still don´t think anyone or anything should have sex 20 times a day, as some authors LOVE to make their characters do. That just…..hurts to think about.

 

And, please, * slamming hands on table, leaning forward, giving the stern look*, what is it with the Dialogue during sex scenes? Has anyone noticed how the majority of romance / erotica heros do the ultimate „ You´re so wet for me“ line?

Or, wait! I got a better one!

“Come for me, baby“  *shaking head* Am I the only one who noticed those two sentences in almost EVERY romance / erotica novel lately?

It´s not the sentences alone that are terrible. It´s the fact that those sentences come up in every damn sex scene. Let´s say characters X and Y are having sex for the first time. And all of a sudden X says: „ Oh, you´re so wet for me.“ Okay. It´s a line that isn´t original, but it´s still okay. If an author believes those words must be included, fine.

When X and Y have sex the second and third time ( in the same night, day, week ), X says the same words to Y. Uuhm… * scratching head * Does Y need a bucket because she´s so wet? Should X fetch the Tupperware just in case?

Obviously, X can´t get over the fact that Y gets wet! Y get´s utterly wet as soon as X touches her! Y is leaking.

And when X commands Y to orgasm ( or better…to come – to cum ) Y magically orgasms. Every single time! Some ladies might find that ” to orgasm ” on command is a hard task to do. But who am I kidding * wave off * I´m thinking way to realistic. What do I know, right?

Let´s rehash-

X is fascinated by the fact that Y gets so wet for him all the time that he needs to announce it.

Y can orgasm on command effortlessly because X is DA SHIT!

Let´s do a real life version of a novel sex scene ( of course, a woman has a few options on how to respond to the magic words)-

Guy: „ oh, Baby….you´re so wet for me.“

Woman: ( option nr. 1 ) „ U-huh.“

Woman: ( option nr .2 ) „ Really? How bad is it down there?“

Woman: ( option nr. 3 ) „ Yeah, I´m so wet for you.“

Or the woman might not give any answer and enjoy what´s bound to happen.

Guy: „ You want to come? Then come, NOW!“

Woman: „ Hold on…I´m almost there…“

Guy: „ No. I want you to come, NOW“

Woman: „ I can´t now. Just keep doing what you´re doing…almost there…“

Guy: ” NOW! Damn it ! N.O.W! Why can´t you orgasm on command?!“

Woman: „ Because I´m NOT  Y from those non-unique sex scenes!!!!“

Do you see my point? A dialogue like that can make whatever feelings I developed disappear into thin air. Poof! Just like that. Gone.

It´s also just as cringe-worthy when the words „moist“ and „cream pie“ are over used. There must be a way to replace those words with something more… fitting? Moist are my kitchen towels after I dry the dishes. And cream pie…. it´s a pie or cake, for heaven’s sake.

And now- while we´re at it… Let us comb through the phrases used in sex scenes. Let´s call it the sex lingo.

Ready?

  • …she tasted like honey…..“ ( I guarantee you, no one tastes like honey down south. Male and female do NOT taste like honey. It´s just a fact. If it were true then you´d be seeing a lot more people going down and having a 3 course meal with „honey“)
  • .. until I finally found her secret center…“ ( A vagina isn´t Narnja. It´s not the rabbit hole that leads to Wonderland. It´s not Barbie´s secret garden, either)
  • …his maleness, passing the petal soft folds of her womanhood…“ ( No vagina lips can be compared to petals. Touch a rose petal then touch vagina lips. It ain´t possible. But touch a turkey´s overlapping skin on his neck and then try touching a vagina. And vagina lips don´t fold. They´re bunched in your underwear. )
  • … I was drowning in her juices…“ ( How many characters are leaking? )
  • …I was blinded as I soared over the edge…“ ( I never went blind before/during/after an orgasm. Maybe I´m doing something wrong? And I never soared anywhere except for the one time when I woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to turn on the bedroom light but missed the wall and switch and went „soaring“ towards the floor. That shit hurt.)

Why compare food and drinks to body fluids? Why not stick to the truth instead of misleading the innocent and giving them weird ideas? Am I thinking too realistic here?

Sometimes people don´t smell like Christmas spices when they pull down their underwear. I can already hear you say „ Eeeeew“ after reading that but it´s true. Any person who´s sexually active KNOWS the dark secrets of sex. And no author has interest in coloring out the harsh reality of event.

Most writers would rather have you believe it´s fabulous to give your partner a blowjob after being on the road for 12 hours with 3 bathroom breaks in between ( without the possibility to wash up..like, at all). There are no rose scents involved there, trust me. Yet, authors will have you believing that the sexual drive between their characters is greater than anything else. They let their characters focus on their lust and ignore the wet fox smell.

As you can probably tell by now, I´ve read some crazy stuff over the last few years and I have a strong feeling that nothing is going to change.

Can we just try to call „his sword“ a penis? Use cock, for all I care….but sword? And how about vagina instead of „where she was moist and desperate“? It´s a vagina. It´s a penis. Either you have one or the other. And maybe it´s a good time to mention that sex is fantastic but sex doesn´t always sell. 

I´m just afraid if young women ( who haven´t had sex yet) read those scenes….they´ll think it´s supposed to be like that in real life. * head against table*

Authors should try to come up with better lines. These people aren´t called artists for no reason. Authors have so many ideas and words to work with…. it should be a piece of cake to come up with something better than „You´re so wet for me.“. It´s really not funny anymore to read the same lines in 80% of all books I read.

This is not meant to discourage writers to include sex in their stories. This is meant to help spark their passion for finding better, more authentic words for their scenes.