Book bloggers. You either like ´em or you don´t. You either enjoy what they have to say or you don´t. It´s as simple as that. * sigh * If only it were that simple.
Because these days, everyone has an opinion and people feel a desire to share their thoughts. Book bloggers, authors, food critics, makeup artists… everyone has something to say.
You don´t know this but… I´ve been receiving some negative feedback lately regarding my posts, and also some negative feedback on my personality. Emails, private messages… Basically every type of communication has been used aside from phone calls and public comments to tell me what type of person I am and that my content is harmful towards the people I supposedly target.
Normally, I´d wave those comments off, dismissing the hurtful and false accusations and not lose a minute of sleep over the fact that someone I haven´t had the pleasure to talk to face to face doesn´t like me or agree with the thoughts I share. But this time is different. This time I´ve slightly had enough of being told I´m cruel or hurtful, especially by people who´ve led me on for some time.
This has even gone as far as telling me my comments on fellow blogger´s blog content is questionable.
Here´s a list of accusations made towards my character / me as a human being:
- I come across rather aggressive
- I steamroll people with my opinions
- I´m arrogant
- I´m not likable
- I´m a shame to mankind
- I´m too opinionated
Now, I´m a confident person. I´m very happy in my own skin and I actually ( let´s all brace ourselves ) like myself. I don´t give two shits if I have floppy arms or if I have a flat tummy or not. I have 2 kids and I´m 36 years old. I have better things to do than to break my head over my body imperfections. I have a caring husband who loves me for who I am. I have 2 healthy kids who´ll hopefully become wonderful adults one day ( because I swear, we´re winging parenting. Everything´s possible at this point ). I´m also very fortunate enough to be able to do the things I love, such as book blogging.
In short- I truly appreciate life for what it is and find it a precious gift to be able to spend my time with the people surrounding me. Offline and online.
My focus is to share my thoughts with as many people as possible and find like-minded people who value and appreciate my thoughts / opinions. A huge bonus is when friendships form through blogging.
I don´t fool myself in believing everyone will like my content or will share my opinion. But I do welcome opinions of all kind… as long as they´re not aimed towards my personality. I work very hard on my blog. I spend countless hours reading and chatting with people because that´s something I enjoy doing. It makes me happy.
And then for people to knock on my internet door and accuse me for being a terrible person… That just pisses me off and makes me miserable.
But that´s the thing, right? The internet – It doesn´t give people the opportunity to truly get to know someone.
I get it. The internet is a playground. There are no rules. Everything is allowed. Which also means- strangers are entitled to do whatever the hell they want. I can´t and don´t want everyone to like me. Just as I can´t and don´t feel the need to have to like everyone I meet. If there´s chemistry- Great! If there´s nothing- Well, it was nice meeting you. This happens online and offline. It´s just the way it is. I do´t force bloggers to follow me or read my posts. I don´t expect to be understood all the time. One of my favorite sayings are:
Never keep a cat from catching mice.
Meaning: I´m not keeping people from moving on. There´s the door. Just close it on your way out because I´m too lazy to get up.
Remember the part when I said I usually don´t let accusations get to me? That´s still true. I try to ignore negative comments aimed towards me, personally. What do I care if a stranger thinks I´m an awful person, right? But the accusations have been adding up. Even from bloggers who follow me.
I began doubting myself. What if I really come across as arrogant? What if I truly have a steamroll personality? And then I look at my kids while seeing these online written accusations in my mind.
You´re a shame to mankind.
You´re too opinionated.
You don´t accept other opinions other than your own.
It took some time to snap out of my funk. I shed a few tears and a few nights were spent talking to the husbutt about life in general. We talked about our goals and our achievements. We even discussed my blog and how I saw my blog in the future.
Would I still want to blog 4 years from now? Would I want to keep uploading reviews and reveal the nasty sides of the book universe? Certainly not if it meant receiving comments on my personality! So I came up with new ideas. ( which will be revealed soon )
We even talked about the comments I received… Not very long, though. It dawned on me very quickly that something wasn´t right. First off- These online people… the one´s who have low opinions of me, aren´t worth the time of my day. And second- Those accusations… They´re actually compliments. Because, yes!
I AM very opinionated. I always have been and that probably won´t change. I grew up with a family who spoke their minds. I´m proud to be opinionated. I want my kids to be just as strong minded. If I have an opinion on something then I´m allowed to say what I think in a respectful manner. I don´t bullshit around, using a pathetic “it wasn´t my intention” excuse to mask a shit situation. People say things for a reason.
I DON`T steamroll over people. Some people just don´t know how to deal with a straight forward personality. I ask questions if I don´t understand someone´s POV. I dig for info because I like to understand. And I do so until I can see someone´s POV. That doesn´t mean my opinion changes… I´m just able to accept an opposite opinion better afterwards.
I DON`T come across as aggressive towards everyone. Some people are just too sensitive. Which is fine. To each their own.
I´m NOT arrogant. While I can see how others might think differently ( because it´s hard to tell over the internet, without seeing facial expressions and without listening to someone´s voice ) I can assure everyone… I´m many things- Arrogant doesn´t even make the list.
The person who claimed that I was a shame to mankind truly needs to rethink their anger. I was called that by a fan after I published a review for a popular book.
And at this point, I don´t really care if I´m likable or not. I´m human. I have feelings. I have my good days and my bad days. The bad days are reserved for the husbutt and my mom. Everyone else receives kindness and respect. Because why make the internet a shittier place than it already is?
I´m a book blogger. I love to read and review books. I don´t tell people I don´t like them. Who does that? Fine. Don´t like my blog or my posts, or whatever else I put online. But my personality?
I´m not the perfect mom and I´m far from being a fantabulous wife. I´m too short and I have a tummy flop. And who knows, I might even have floppy arms ( I´d have to check because I´ve never bothered to think about it ) I´m not a Wednesday Addams and I´m not Mother Theresa, either. I´m me. A woman most online people don´t know. Because I´m many things. Just not what I´ve been accused of.
So, to people who feel the need to give me their honest opinions on my personality…
You all still deserve to be treated with respect. I´m not sure about the kindness, though. Hmm, no. You don´t deserve my kindness. In fact- you deserve to become what you were to me before we crossed paths: Just another faceless figure I never knew existed.
Because the only problem I can see is this:
I´m confident. I´m outgoing. I love life and I certainly love to express my feelings when it comes to books. I love to chat and have debates on controversial topics. I guess you can say I´m an extroverted book nerd ( if there can be such a thing ). This can be seen as something terrible for over sensitive introverts who can´t understand the difference between confidence and arrogance.
The bottom line is…
If you want to be a good person- Be a good person. Just because you have a different opinion doesn´t mean others who don´t share your opinions are evil.
And PLEASE do NOT follow me on any social platform if you dislike my personality that much. Because I sure as hell don´t want to be confronted with assholes. Even if I can take it I don´t enjoy talking to assholes.
If you´re opinionated and open-minded – STAY THAT WAY. It´s a wonderful trait to have.
Life is beautiful. Be accepting. Be tolerant. Be respectful. Be kind. Don´t be hurtful. And don´t be a fucking little internet shit and dish out your disrespect like someone would hand out candy on Halloween.
I´m also not giving you the satisfaction of calling you out in public so you can have more reason to hate me. You sensitive lot don´t need to be humiliated. It´s a burden enough to have to live with yourselves and your vicious opinions you only share on the internet.
As for everyone else… I truly hope you never need to take this step and speak out like I just did. It´s awful. It´s draining. My deepest apologies for this long rant. But there are some things that I needed to get off my chest.
Hope you all have a wonderful day.