Surviving `The Protector`The Movie

No. This isn´t a review for The Protector, the Turkish Netflix drama series. ( Although I wouldn´t mind giving a review for the hubba hubba-drool worthy Hakan ( played by actor & model Cagatay Ulusoy )

Sorry, people. This is for the book-to-movie-adaptation romance The Protector. 

 

It´s been a minute ( 2016 ) since I first and last read The Protector by author Jodi Ellen Malpas.

For those who aren´t familiar with the author- Jodi Ellen Malpas writes steamy contemporary romances that have the perfect Alpha males who´d cross all lines to be with and protect their significant others. We´re talking romantic drama at its finest.

I will add that many romance readers have a love/hate relationship with JEM´s books. It´s because they´re filled with clichés that are overdramatized. Personally, I enjoy the author´s writing, her storytelling and, yes, even the passionate nutcases she creates.

The Protector is a standalone and also my least favorite Jodi Ellen Malpas book. I just think it´s her weakest work. If I remember correctly, I rated the book with 3 stars.

The protector
The Protector – The Book

 

 

When it was announced that The Protector would be made into a movie I almost choked on my drink. From all the intense stories the author has published… That´s the one they picked? Excuse MOI?!

After my initial shock, I decided, despite my feelings towards the book, that I would give the movie a go. Why the hell not, right?

 

Well, it happened. They really turned this novel into a movie.

I didn´t bother asking my husband if he wanted to watch with me because… Weeeell, we´re going separate movie ways for the time being ( he said the Overboard remake was better than the original. An unacceptable statement ).

Back to the movie:

I watched The Protector alone and had to call my mom afterward ( separate movie ways, remember? ).

 

The Protector Movie
Movie 

 

 

The first thing I noticed was the soap opera vibes. The corny and unconvincing first moves from the Jake Sharp ( male lead ) and Camille Logan ( female lead ) had me thinking I switched on the wrong movie.  Did the book start out the same way as the movie? I mean- Three years is long but not long enough for me to forget the whole story. There weren´t any soap opera vibes from the book.

Then I noticed the terrible acting. Oh. My. God. I´m shooketh by the acting. What in God´s name was that all about? The forceful way the lines were spoken, the way the characters interacted with each other… I wanted to switch the channel due to the awkward 2-second pauses between lines.

Look, I can do a lot but I also have my limits. I was close to mine after 20 minutes into the movie. Still, I had this nagging feeling that things would improve. Every first start is a little bumpy, right? I knew there was more to come from having read the book. I´m always open to surprises.

106 minutes later…

Not even the bottle of wine I held in a death grip was able to help me overcome the cheesiest movie in the history of cheesy movies. What the flipping foo foo was that all about?

The movie was unbalanced. The story managed to slip into the background thanks to the forced emotional intensity. How many intense stares does a viewer need to see in order to figure out a couple has sexual tension going on between them?

AND WHO CARRIES SOMEONE OUT OF A CLUB WHEN THE PERSON IS MORE THAN CAPABLE OF WALKING OUT THEMSELVES?!?! Such a random act of… romance? Kindness? Horniness?

 

 

I guess you can say I didn´t like this Passionflix production. Like – At all. From all the book-to-movie-adaptations this was by far the worst I´ve seen. And right now I´m glad none of the other Jodie Ellen Malpas books were chosen to be turned into a movie. God knows what would have come out from that.

I will say this: If you haven´t seen the movie then I advise you to read the book first. Even if `The Protector` is my least favorite Jodi Ellen Malpas book it´s still way better than the movie. By a looong shot.  That is- If you´re into romances. *  wink  *

 


 

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts on the book-to-movie-adaptation for `The Protector`. I hope you enjoyed.

 

Until the next movie…

Many hugs and virtual chocolate,

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Is There An Easier Way To Review Books?

I´ll tell you what – I struggle sometimes with writing reviews. There are days when I can sit down and write a colorful 2K word review for a 300 page standalone. Then I go through phases of painful reviewer´s block. I can´t come up with the right words to express my thoughts or feelings regarding a book.

You´d think I´d have the hang of this review thingy by now. I mean- 10 years should have taught me a trick or two. Weeeeell, it seems like I´m still winging things as I go.

My biggest struggle is review size/length. For some reason, I have this notion that reviews have to be a certain size to be considered a true review. I know, total bullshit. But I can´t help it. It´s like this evil pattern embedded deep in the recesses of my brain. Am I bothered by this? To be honest- Sometimes I am. Writing reviews should be as easy as breathing in air. All you have to do is lay down your opinion and hit that publish button. * sigh *  If only that were true.
During my book blogger years I´ve asked myself the same questions over and over again:

  • Is there an easier way to review books?
  • Should my reviews be lengthy or short?
  • If short, how short? If long, how high should my word count be?

 

This isn´t a matter of being insecure. This is me battling my perfectionist side. Thankfully, I´ve learned that book review size doesn´t really matter.

 

Review length is a matter of personal preference. 

 

It´s a question of how much information a reviewer wants to include in their reviews. Personality, style, emotions, and knowledge. Add all or only add a few. Do whatever the hell you want, right? Right. But there was still one question left unanswered. One I consider a challenge.

Is there an easier way to review books?

Because let´s face it – No one is able to pull a review out of their ass thinking hat. It´s tedious sometimes. And us foot folk don´t get paid for our awesomeness. There has to be a way!

The other day I was making notes in my reading log for my next review when I noticed a little box on the lower left corner. A little feature I have been using all along but never gave much thought about.

smiley

 

A simple rating system. Rate the plot, the characters, and ease of reading. Then to sum everything up you give your overall opinion via smiley.  This doesn´t even take a minute out of our day ( if we allow ourselves to not overthink much and analyze everything ) to do and can also be easily used as book reviews. If you ask me, I think this is brilliant. I´ll tell you why:

  • Some people misunderstand reviews. I know- Unthinkable but true. Some reviews are very wordy and not everyone´s native speaking language is English. I can see why some would have questions.
  • They´re wordless. Sometimes words can hurt. Whether intentionally or unintentionally… there´s bound to be an author hanging on that one word a reviewer used to describe the book/their feelings.
  • Most of the world is familiar with a smiley rating scale– Everyone´s most likely been confronted with a 3 point or 5 point rating scale at a young age so there is a global understanding of what a sad face, a neutral face and a happy face means.
  • They´re quick. Some people take days to write a review. Imagine how much time could be saved by using this system. This would give reviews a whole new meaning and reviewers the chance not to dwell on sentence structure, repetitive words, etc. Plus, using smileys saves time. We live in a fast-moving environment where many of us don´t have enough hours in our day to get things done.
  • They´re spoiler – free. I know many people who don´t read reviews out of fear of bumping into a spoiler. You could avoid any minor or major spoiler by using the smiley rating system.

 

Sounds wonderful, doesn´t it?  For a book blogger, sure. Of course, there´s always a flip side to brilliant things. This system might work wonders but it´s entirely reviewer friendly. We save time. We hardly have work with a review. But what about the consumer? The people who depend or rely on reviews? Future book spoilers aren´t a problem with this system but what about the emotional aspect? That slight push that seals the book purchase deal? Smileys can´t give a reader authenticity. They symbolize emotions. They don´t glow with personality.

So, I guess the idea of using this quick book blogger friendly rating system as reviews is out of the question, huh? Still, wouldn´t it be nice? In an ideal world, we´d be able to use this system AND help the consumer. Sounds so good.

 

Since we don´t live in a perfect world I might as well change the question to:

Is there a more efficient way to write a review that still helps the consumer?

Hmm… Here´s to 10 more years of coming up with an answer!

OR (!!!) I might just test this all out and see how it´s received. Hmm….


 

Let´s chat: What are your thoughts on review size? Which do you prefer to read: long or short reviews? What´s your take on the smileys? I would love to read your thoughts!

 


 

As always, thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed.

 

XO´s

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Surviving `Beautiful Creatures`The Movie

Oops. I guess I´m 6 years too late for this one.

 

 

I remember how I got all excited in 2013 when I found out about the book to movie adaptation but it somehow slipped my mind that one of my favorite YA Fantasy reads was in theaters. The perks of being old- You automatically turn into Dory from Finding Nemo. Thanks to the suggestions based on my daughter´s Netflix movie tastes I was reminded once again that `Beautiful Creatures` had been made into a movie.

 

Beautiful_Creatures_movie_poster

 

Let me give you a walkthrough on how my `Beautiful Creatures` movie experience went. It all started with the husbutt actually wanting to watch the movie with me. Oookay. Fine by me. So, we started. And the first thing husbutt says is:

“Wait a second. You have that book, don´t you?”

How very observant of him. Yes. I have the book. I actually have `Beautiful Creatures` ( book #1 ) and `Beautiful Darkness`( book #2) on my bookshelf. One is a paperback and the other is a hardcover ( which really doesn´t sit well with me ).

“What´s the story about again?” He asked.

My inner Dory then made another appearance again because I only had a rough idea of what the story was about. Who can blame me after having first and last read the books after they were published back in 2010 ( give or take a year )? Exactly.

“Uuhm, Young Adult. Teenagers having witchy issues.”

My communication skills can´t be topped. But to my defense- I was munching on Doritos. Speaking too much could cause a chip flake to go down the wrong pipe. Death by Doritos doesn´t seem too bad. Knowing `Beautiful Creatures` would be my last movie if I had choked on a Dorito? I wasn´t willing to take that risk.

So, we started the movie knowing it was about witches. And we watched. And watched. Turns out, I didn´t forget all too much about the book. How did I know?

Because I was constantly complaining about the things that weren´t included in the movie. Small yet significant details that made the book great- The things that made the characters great.

beautiful creatures
The book.

Without wanting to spoil the movie ( or book, for that matter ) I won´t get into details but I will say this: That library scene, the first of quite a few, had me rolling on the floor gasping for air.  And that curse threat? I can gladly inform everyone that it was not all too life-threatening. Not for me, nor for the movie characters. In fact- It felt like some useless side info.

What I did appreciate was the tiny `Carrie` moment the female lead had in the beginning. A little more of those scenes would have done wonders for this movie.

So, with all that being said, I didn´t like `Beautiful Creatures`, the movie. Like – At all. It was as dry and very non-curse driven. It was far less mysterious or magical.

My husband´s final words were:

” Imagine going to the butchers and asking for a nice slab of ribs then watching the butcher slam the meat very unlovingly on the work counter. That´s how this movie felt: A book to movie adaptation thrown unlovingly to the crowd.”  And he didn´t read the book.

The book, though, is really great. Much darker than the movie. It has depth and keeps a reader in an upright position until the very last page. One of the few YA Fantasy reads I truly adore.

Let´s keep our fingers crossed for the next book – to – movie adaptation!


 

Did you watch `Beautiful Creatures`? Did you read the book? Let´s discuss it. ❤


 

I hope you all have a wonderful day. Feel hugged and share the book-love!

 

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Surviving `After` The Movie

It´s been an hour since I walked out of the movie theater. I am spent. Not because of the movie itself ( more about that below ) but because I´m trying to understand how it´s possible to like a movie more than the book.

Yes, I read `After` by Anna Todd ( REVIEW- After Series (book #1-#5) by Anna Todd ).

And yes, I did enjoy the first book a lot because it was a good story. I think, somewhere in my collective review for all the books, I mentioned that I believed the story could have been great with a solid ending on its own. A standalone, if you will. Sadly though, book #1 ends with a cliffy and everything else goes downhill from there on. All books in total have earned 1 star from me. But I enjoyed book #1.

Then word had it `After`was going to be turned in to a movie.

Actual reaction from then and now

God forbid- We can´t have a bestseller stay a simple bestseller. We have to turn it into a movie so every fanfic fanatic and D1 fan can go nuts all over again. One does not feed the  obsessive herd. One leaves ´em alone. Personally, I would have been able to die a happy woman without another book to movie adaptation. But noooo.

With time ditzy old me completely forgot about the disaster of the `After` saga, including the threat of a movie. Then came the trailer.

To be honest- The trailer looked like many things but not like the story I had read.

 

Judging by the trailer I was sure to get a rated PG – 13 version of 50 Shades of Grey.

Being the good book blogger I am I called my friend and forced her mark her calendar. We were going to watch `After`.

The Verdict

I was pleasantly surprised. I actually liked the movie more than the book. Ha! Who´d have thought. I´d even go so far and say that this book to movie adaptation is the first I approve of.

The 50 Shades of Grey movies were catastrophes. The acting felt forced, the dialogue was horrific and the sex scenes were so meeh. Look- If you´re going to do something then do it  right or don´t do it at all. Include the sex and make it the porn it truly is.

 

General mood after watching the 50 Shades of Grey movies

With `After ` everything was different. Aside from the ( I´m sorry, I just can´t help myself ) horrible lead actor. Just because you have a resting asshole face, a leather jacket and have random tattoos  doesn´t mean you´re a bad boy. Where are we? In the 90´s?

 

Hardin Scott- The After bad boy. 

With that being said- I felt the story came pretty close to the book in a positive way.

The focus was on the relationship. There was a nice gradual story development and the peak was actually better than in the book.

Heavens, I don´t know if I should be happy about this or not. With years of hating on book to movie adaptations this one has definitely thrown me off the hate wagon. I seriously don´t know what to do with myself now.

 

 

As for my friend… she hasn´t read the books and even she thought it was a decent romance. Her final comment on the movie: “Don´t tell me we have to wait a fucking year for the next one.” 

Aah, Marlene. My guess is that we´ll have to do just that. With 3 more books we´ll probably have to wait 3 more years to find out more. This means we´ll be 40 years old by the time movie #4 is out.

Even if I know book #2, #3, #4 ( I didn´t bother reading book #5 because it´s just a book on the Hero´s past. Sorry, not interested in that ) was NOT my cup of tea ( you´re welcome to read my reasons for that here )  I still think I should give the movies a go. Who knows… Maybe they´ll be great. Maybe the movie industry will change the story a little. Maybe I´ll like the changes… The possibilities are endless! One can only hope for a miracle.

 

So yes. I liked `After` the movie.

 


 

♥Have you seen the movie? Do you want to see it? Have you run into a book to movie adaption you liked? Let´s chat. ♥

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Art Of Pointing Fingers At Book Bloggers

ATTENTION

It is advised to leave all pitch forks at the doorstep of this blog. Thank you.

 

Maybe the title of this blog post should be “The Art Of Calling People Out On Their Shit” because it truly suits the purpose of this post much better. Or perhaps I should turn this post into a ” How To Start A Bookish Witch Hunt” guide…. Not sure.

Either way- I saw something ( again ) that caught my interest.

I know, I know. Wasn´t it just a few weeks ago when I spotted the last bookish faux pas? It was and it pains me to point out the latest ( and loudest ) tactless acts in this oh so love – sharing book community done by certain online personalities.

 

 

So many people believe us book loving folks are harmless introverts who mind our own business because our noses are constantly stuck in book cracks. We´re all clones of 1970´s librarians. The reality, though, is that we´re just as human as non readers are, and therefore behave like normal everyday people ( unless we´re reading. Then I can´t guarantee what us book people are capable of ). Some of us are genuine and nice and others are just mean shits with too much time on their hands.

 

So, the other day I spotted quite a few posts on how people didn´t quite approve of  Instagrammers “fake coffee”.

 

 

Instagrammers creating fake coffee for pics? Does this mean someone´s trying to sell us all a lie? You mean to tell me, ME, that there ain´t no coffee in those wonderful mug pics I see all the time?

 

 

Well, no, Bitch…. I´m not shook. Not in the slightest. It´s no secret that most Instagram coffee shots don´t have actual coffee in them. Seeing recent posts from quite a few book – people bitch over this matter wasn´t earth shattering. Just simple complaints over the fact that the world is sneaky and corrupt. I can live with that.

But here´s where it gets interesting:

The more complaints I saw the more every complaint sounded like they came from frustrated people. Some even went as far and virtually pointed fingers at certain book bloggers who openly discussed their bookstagram / coffee voodoo. And the more I investigated the more I spotted  hurt people ratting out other people by adding blog links.

 

 

Really? Is this what we´ve reduced ourselves to? ( not including myself here ) Complaining about fake coffee and trying to put others on the spot for doing so?

 

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Soph Is Blogging published a blog post on Bookstagrammers And Their Fake Coffee and even cared enough to reveal her own secrets on how to create great coffee dupes for the ever unforgiving Instagram ( I am mentioning Soph because a link to her blog was posted by one of the many complainants ).

You can tell her post was created to act as a little guide on how to do the fake coffee trick. I don´t know about you but I find this extremely interesting, even as a non coffee drinker. In no way is this a terrible thing. Soph is welcoming others to do the same.

I was always aware of the fact that something wasn´t 100% right with those Insta- coffee pics but I also never cared enough to dig deeper into matter. Because I´m not passionate enough about it but I still find it really cool to find out how coffee dupes are made.

Here´s the thing- Fake coffee is nothing different from the beautiful pimped burgers in Tv commercials. Am I sad about it? No, not really. Soph is more or less offering her pics to her fans / followers, presenting them with something that looks stunning. It´s her creation and she´s spending time getting something up that´s perfect for her.

Now, this doesn´t mean I´m a fan of fake coffee pics. This just means I don´t care enough about them.

I, too, fake some of my Instagram pics and like Soph… I´m not making a secret out of it. Because it should go without saying that most Instagram shots don´t resemble reality. I certainly don´t always have a mug near me when I´m reading. And I sure as hell don´t set my book down and keep it in that position when I´m reading. I don´t even read near the window because my window sills ( as lovely as they are ) don´t allow comfortable seating. My bones would protest after 30 minutes! But my window sill does work wonders for Bookstagram pics. So does the forest in my back yard, and trust me on this one… I do NOT go there for random chapter reads ( mainly due to ticks, boars, foxes, and random creeps. What can I say? I´m careful and shit). Safety is high on my life list so whatever I do with books for Instagram- It´s not what I usually do.

For example: I don´t have chilled walks in the middle of a normally busy road with a book in hand.

And my Disney moment in the woods? Yeah. It´s fake.

 

 

 

My point is- Bookstagram pictures are often staged shots. And that´s okay. Because that´s what Instagram has become- A place to show off creativity. It is not a place where “shallow”  people ( as one complainant kindly stated ) play.

Which brings me to my next point ( and this will not be a popular opinion ) :

I´m for naming this child by its name: People who complain about fake coffee are envious. Or (!!!) they feel like they´ve been cheated on by society. Because I´m positive these complaints don´t come from a place of awe and appreciation.

It´s the same thing with children during art class. There´s always one special booger who will call out on the one artsy kid who dared to cheat the system by taking their wet paint brush and letting it glide over the colored pencil drawing to create a watercolor effect instead of using normal watercolors.

Yes, sometimes bookstagrammers can make other bookstagrammers feel inadequate. But that´s entirely up to the bookstagrammer to see the difference between reality and a lie. Once a person whines about something being “unfair” and “makes their lives difficult” then it´s no one elses problem but theirs. These people have no right to complain over peanuts.

I create “fake” ( although, I´m still having troubles seeing the fake aspect of all this ) because I want to challenge myself. Can I be as creative as…. ? Can I do that too? What if I recreated that Christmas book tree? And I even publish my failures and include the tutorial that led to the failure.

For someone to point their finger at a book blogger  for wanting to be helpful and even share a link to publicly put said book blogger on display ( also hoping to find sympathizers afterwards ) is not the way to go about things in this book community.

No one likes a tattletale, especially when it´s done on the internet. Because that shit can backfire.

 

If you feel I´ve addressed you in particular then I´m sorry I won´t be able to help you. This is a beautiful yet tough love community. Pull those big girl panties up and move on because there are larger issues to tackle in this neck of the woods ( such as self published authors and their sky high book prices ).

 

ATTENTION… again

Hurt bookstagrammers, offended book people and the literary sheriffs are able to collect their pitch forks again. Make sure to direct yourselves in the direction of your usually prefered hangouts to discuss this matter in private. Thank you.  

 

Should you be like me and feel utterly annoyed by this issue ( tbh- it´s bugging the shit out of me ) then feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below. Imma dying to see what your thoughts on fake coffee are and if you think it´s okay to point fingers at others publicly.

And and and * waves hands enthusiastically * IF you´re against fake coffee, and you´re willing to have a civilized conversation about it, then please give us annoyed foot folk some insight on what exactly annoys you about the subject. Any info is greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

With that being said…. I bid you all a farewell, my dear bookish Padawans. May the literary force be with you.

Much love,

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