The other week, my ex-co-book blog-bestie contacted me on Messenger with this:
” The fun times.” she texted after sending me a poorly self-made banner we once used for our Facebook page. The fun times, indeed.
For those who don´t know- This isn´t my first Book Blog. I used to share one with 2 of my book besties years ago. Different interests were the reasons for us going our separate ways. To this day we´re still close as we were back during our glorious active book blogging years.
After her text, I called her ( to my shame – without considering the 9 hour time difference ). Because you don´t just send a random picture for no good reason, right? It´s been years since we´ve book blogged together and we don´t often talk about our first online baby. We did this time, though.
We talked about the fun times.
“We winged the crap out of everything,” she said.
How true. We didn´t have the slightest clue what we were doing but we made the most of it. We had a great laugh, as you´d have when going down memory lane. Then the laughter died down. We entered the phase of awkward silence. Then THE question was asked.
“So, how´s the blog doing?” Bah. How to answer that without killing the mood?
“It´s different,” I answered truthfully. “Things aren´t the way they used to be.”
It surprised me when she agreed. It surprised me, even more, when she announced she was quitting her book blog. When I asked her why she simply said:
“The community has become too vicious for my taste.”
A sad statement coming from someone who´s so full of book blogging goodness. This woman is more than capable of running a successful blog. She has it down when it comes to mingling with the book crowd. Out of all three of us, she was everyone´s darling. Authors adored her. Our followers loved her. For her to call it quits is heartbreaking. But, I understood. After she unleashed the tsunami of other reasons upon me I couldn´t blame her for wanting to quit.
“Reviews seem to be worthless,” she said. Sometimes they feel that way, yes.
“I´m doubting my posts.” Oh, I can sing a song about that.
“I´m making my husband read my posts, to see if he thinks they´re offensive before I upload them. “ Uhm, okay. I´m not that at that stage yet.
“Book bloggers aren´t what they used to be.” * nod *
“The hate is unreasonable.” * choke, cough * Unreasonable is a nice word.
All this boiled down to one thing: Things have changed. It has yet to be revealed whether this is actually the case or if we´ve simply overstayed our welcome in the book community. The bottom line is- A book blogger is quitting for alarming reasons.
I´ll admit- Just like my book bestie, I doubt my posts. I don´t doubt my ability to create content. I doubt the way my posts will be perceived. But I´m not at that stage where I won´t want to upload my posts, yet. Who knows,… If I have to create more graphic notes I might decide to hang my blog on the nail. My bestie never doubted her content. Not once did she say anything about not being sure about blog posts. She´s not the type. But then again, neither am I, and here I am… doubting things. This is understandable.
As for reviews feeling like a waste of time: I see her point. Reviews are pretty much the same as they´ve always been, though. It´s the lack of response to the reviews that´s changed. And this makes reviews seem worthless. Personally, I´m not too worried about feedback for reviews because a review will always be read at some point. Somewhere down the line someone will need an opinion and will stumble upon yours.
I had to laugh when the bestie said she´s been forcing her husband to read her posts. Even if the reason itself is sad, it´s such a comical moment picturing her husband´s face. I´ve never asked my husband to check my posts but I can understand why the bestie asked hers. She´s afraid of discriminating a bookish group/an author/anyone. It´s easy to step on people´s feet in 2019. All it takes is a misunderstanding. We´ve trained ourselves to care too much of what people think that it´s influencing our personalities and messing with our minds. We have to remind ourselves that it´s not our fault if someone doesn´t agree with us.
Pissing someone off ( even for the stupidest reason ) can cause a hurtful online backlash. We don´t want to start a war over our opinions, thoughts, or ideas.
“I`m tired of having to defend my posts.”
As for the unreasonable hate… * sigh * Yeah, I´ve seen content being attacked for no good reason. Hell, I´ve seen these attacks become personal. Never would I´ve thought the bestie would be subjected to this behavior and crumble underneath it.
“At first I didn´t react. Ain´t gonna waste my time with people who don´t understand what they read. But when the hate added up I wasn´t able to sit here and let it happen. Who the fuck are these people and why do they have internet access?”
Oh, ain´t that the truth. I had an easy answer to her question- People who´re living in a state of constant frustration. I imagine these people being those cringe-worthy folks you see on Youtube in one of those public freak out compilations * shudders *. Angry, yelling, at a loss for reasonable words, lacking the ability to be civilized over stupid shit.
I cannot begin to tell you how gutted I feel that a wonderful person felt the need to quit her passion because of a few special members of the book community.. Because of the unnecessary building negative feedback, my ex-co-blogger bestie deleted her book blog.
“The community has become too vicious for my taste.”
In what universe is this okay? If anyone feels the need to quit then it should be because of not being able to invest enough time or other things.
I´m more than pissed that people claim to be passionate readers but can´t seem to read and understand a blog post.
Our phone call lasted an hour. The bestie felt liberated and I was ready to open up a bottle of wine.
Here´s a sad fact: I´ve seen quite a few fellow book blogger friends quit in the last few months because of the same reasons.
So, there ya have it. Another book blogger resigned. How sad to see someone leave.
I´m pretty sure this post will have some people´s panties in knots so I´m not going ask questions on what all your thoughts are. I´ve already been accused of being the reason why book bloggers are quitting. “It´s because of people like you…” Not into another round of that. This post wasn´t about me. It´s about a close friend of mine ( who happens to be my ex-co-blog bestie ) quitting her book blog because of the actions from fellow book bloggers. If you´d like to add something useful in the comments below then I´d be more than happy to get back with you.
Thank you for reading this slightly depressing blog post.