Why I Don´t Join Facebook Book Groups Anymore

Facebook book groups – Oh, how I love to hate and hate to love them.

 

You´d think there wouldn´t be much to tell about Facebook book groups. The truth is- There´s not enough time or space to put down every single detail about what goes on behind those invisible group walls.

From the groups themselves, how they operate, the interaction, etc. There´s a lot of ground to cover when wanting to discuss these groups. Topics I can´t possibly cram in one simple post. Because there are so many different types of Facebook book groups.  We´ve got groups for:

 

  • fans of book blogs
  • book groups for specific genres / mixed genre groups
  • author groups
  • book blogger support groups
  • book promotional groups
  • bookmarket groups
  • groups for individual books
  • Book character groups
  • groups for the smut-loving society
  • street team groups
  • beta reading groups

 

Whatever a book lover´s looking for, Facebook´s got it in spades.  You want it, you´ll find it. You´ll also find a little more ( or less ) than you bargained for. And you´ll be able to find these hangouts categorized into three different types of groups:

 

  • Open groups
  • Closed groups
  • Secret groups

 

From a neutral standpoint, I can say that Facebook book groups are truly a blessing. There are countless ways you can benefit from a Facebook book group. From meeting like-minded fans of a specific book to making new friends… Facebook book groups are a wonderful way to connect and receive book-related info.

Unfortunately- If you´ve been in the business long enough you eventually see the cursed side of these Facebook book groups. I´ve seen this side as I´m sure many others have. While some FB book groups are wonderful… some groups just aren´t great places to spend time in.

 

kind reminder

Okay. I think we´re good to go, now.

Alas! Here are my reasons why I don´t join Facebook book groups anymore.

 


#1    Dead Book Groups

 

At one point I realized I was following over 250 Facebook book groups. 250! And from 250, only a few were consistently active. There are many reasons for Facebook book groups becoming silent but I don´t feel like sticking around when there´s nothing to stick around for. Being a part of a group for no greater reason goes against the idea of a group. I don´t see a point in collecting inactive groups.

Yes, Facebook can be blamed for the deaths of many book groups, but many book groups can be blamed for their own deaths. Either way- I´m out.

 

 

#2  If You´ve Seen One…

 

Yes. I´m saying all Facebook book groups are very much alike.  Each group is more or less a copy of another. Is this a bad thing? Well, sharing the book love can never be considered an evil cause. It´s seeing the same posts, the same shared content that´s ruined it for me. Personally? Aside from the design and colors, I see no differences. Unless a Facebook book group has something that makes them stand out then I feel no need to follow anymore.

I know it´s hard to come up with a unique concept these days. It´s even harder to maintain a certain standard when so much is constantly changing. The idea is not to settle for the safe option and copy what works for others. If you want to stand out or be seen you

a) should offer something no one else offers

b) maybe sell the copied concept differently

c) invest time, sweat and love ( and money for ads )

It sounds so much easier than it actually is. Trust me – I know. But it´s possible.

 

 

#3  Dictator Admins

 

Do I need to say more? Yes, I do. Dictator admins are real. They´re also very busy people. Busy monitoring posts and comments like a crack whore, busy talking about themselves and their achievements, busy warning members and keeping them in check. Admins basically have all the power over a group, which is perfectly fine. But some like to wield that power and play King Fuck – Who doesn´t give two shits about what their members want or need because it´s only important what the admin says /does/wants.  They set the rules and it´s in everyone´s interest to follow these strict rules. Should any member fall out of line then there will always be some type of consequences. This is NOT fun.

I´ve been in many groups where the admins acted like this and I´ve always wondered what happened to make them act like glorified cunts. Do I have to continue to follow these people? Of course, not. Life is too short to follow these people.

Admins of Facebook book groups need to act as mentors and help their community feel like they´re in the best place ever. I don´t want to be in a group run by a dictator. I want to be in a group where the focus is on open communication, sharing content, helping each other, etc.

 

 

#4  Rules

 

Rules, schmules. As if book lovers need rules in a Facebook book group. It´s stated NOWHERE that a social media group needs rules, so why do many Facebook book groups have them? I have my suspicions. One of them includes a dictator admin.  Because how can you be an active member and contribute when you´re being restricted from the start?

  • Self-promotion is not allowed

So, a book blogger isn´t allowed to talk about / share their work even though the group could benefit from it. How unclever.

  • Offensive posts will be banned

First of all- Define the word `offensive`. Seems like everyone has a different definition these days. This point basically means that if the admin believes your post is offensive ( even though it isn´t ) you´ll be warned, banned, deleted, asked to leave, kicked out. Wonderful.

  • Healthy debates are welcome

No. They´re not. Don´t fool yourselves. Respectful opinions are never welcome because they´re often seen as an attack. Especially when you disagree with the admin or a golden card member. Most groups use this point to lure in debate friendly people and end up blocking them for not liking what they have to say.

These are just a few rules from MANY.

With so many rules how is someone supposed to act in a book group? Maybe not act at all? Always agree with everyone? That´s just ridiculous. I´m not in a book group to follow rules. I´m here to join in on the fun and to maybe learn a thing or two.

My personal experiences have taught me to stay far away from groups with so many rules.

 

 

#5   Secret Safe Havens For Dick Pic Haters

/ Secret Safe Havens for Dic Pic Lovers

 

There are groups and then there are secret groups. Since I mingle with the romance novel crowd ( where the smut levels range from 1 – 10  ) you can imagine what goes on in some book groups. Sometimes posts are squeaky clean and respectable ( even informative ) and sometimes you´re involuntarily rewarded with a dick pic of a firefighter on a Friday. That´s just how the romance world rolls. Am I bothered about this? No. I couldn´t care less, to be honest.

The funny thing, though, is that some of these Facebook romance book group members have created side groups for people who are offended by aesthetic pictures of respectable men * cough * And at the same time there  have been secret groups created for dic pic lovers where members can secretly share porn all day long in any shape, color or form.

 

” This group is a safe place for romance lovers. “

“This is a safe place for readers who like it dirty.”

 

 

At one point these secret groups were growing like weeds in the Facebook book community. So, I became a safe place member and a member of the dirty gang. My experience in safe places was short lived. I eventually removed myself – Wordlessly. Then I came to this bright conclusion:

It´s a picture. You always have the option to ignore oiled abs and a thrusting crotch. You may allow yourselves to look away and return at another, less sexual time.

If you read romance then you are familiar with the often raunchy sex that can often be compared to porn. You have no reason to feel offended by a picture of a firefighter stroking the one-eyed snake. I guarantee you, you´ve read worse.

This makes the romance book community look like a circus. I mean- There´s humor in everything but this is beyond ridiculous.

 

 

 

#6   The “This isn´t book related but….” Posts

 

Listen- I get it. A Facebook book group is a community and in a community members should support each other during good and bad times. But sometimes private posts are uncalled for, especially when a book group is focused on book promotion ONLY ( or any other specific book group ). There´s a place for private posts and that´s on the person´s private Facebook timeline. I´m not saying it´s terrible if a group member posts about their uncaring neighbor who mows his lawn when the baby´s trying to take a nap. I´m saying the topic isn´t necessarily appropriate for a book group.

Like I said- It isn´t world shattering. I just don´t understand why this needs to be in a book group.

 

 

#7  Questionable Members

 

From what I´ve seen there are a few types of FB book group members:

 

  • The actively supportive members 
  • The Like & Leave members 
  • The cliques/squads/ best of best group buddies members
  • The hypersensitive bunch
  • The Alpha members with their platinum membership cards

 

Three out of the five group member types are most likely to also fall into the questionable member’s category.

What exactly is a questionable FB book group member, you ask? Well, these people make it their mission to make anything their problem. It´s possible that you can become their focus, their target. They will try to discuss you to the ground and tell you what a shitty person you are and how disgusting your opinion is. They will tell you how you hurt THEIR feelings even though you never knew they existed before.

They´re basically the FB book group mafia.

In the beginning, you hardly realize they´re there. But once triggered they´ll reveal themselves and they become very vocal and extremely illogical. What triggers these people? Anything can trigger the mob or a mobster. As soon as they don´t like whatever is posted or said in a group then that´s it – They get their shit lists out. They won´t hesitate to act as if a crime has been committed.

I´ve come to learn that these questionable members are scattered all over the place. Some aren´t as vicious as others. Some come in smaller groups and some are lonesome mobsters. It really depends on the person. Maybe they´re dealing with an offline private issue. Maybe they´re just frustrated and bored.

What I´ve also learned is: You gotta let special be special. And Facebook has way too much special going on. You can´t help the mob understand that you´re not a disgrace to mankind. You´re not a disgrace. They´re just angry people eating chips in front of their laptops. You don´t have to teach these people what the difference between an offensive comment and a diplomatic one is. They´ll only refuse to listen.

But you can remove yourself from a group and never have to deal with questionable members any further. Everything is always just a few clicks away, am I right?


 

Mind you- These weren´t the only experiences I´ve had during my active Facebook book group days. I´ve had the pleasure of being a member of some fabulous Facebook book groups in the past where the admins understood what it meant to be a leader and where the members understood the importance of online kindness.

Despite the positive sides, Facebook book groups have I don´t think I can overlook the fact that many of these groups are just playgrounds for people who have nothing better to do than to wait until they can explode.



 

If you so happen to be a member of an active and well functioning Facebook book group then I´m truly happy for you. It´s always a great feeling to know you´re surrounded by a positive community. As long as the FB book group works for you then all´s good. Keep being a FB book group supporter. ❤


 

What about you? Are you a member of a Facebook book group? Do you agree with my list? Do you disagree? Care to agree to disagree? Let me know your thoughts or share your own personal experiences. Let´s chat! ❤


 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Don´t forget to be kind, stay kind and share the book love.

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15 thoughts on “Why I Don´t Join Facebook Book Groups Anymore

  1. I am a part of groups but I don’t actively participate anymore. Facebook is like a pit. I have an account, but I don’t really use it.
    I had too many racist comments on them. Recently, I had someone say that I can’t participate in that group because I am not a US UK blogger though the rules didn’t mention anything. Ah well, OK. So I was not good enough…
    I get hurt when people discriminate… So I avoid groups in toto

    Liked by 1 person

    1. WHAT?! Are you serious? That´s so wrong. So so wrong on so many levels. Just because you weren´t a UK or US blogger? I don´t blame you one bit for feeling hurt. I would have exposed that giveaway so hard. Racist comments are terrible. The people who leave these comments should be zapped by an electric shock everytime they post crap.

      You know, I can see why you´re not active in groups. They ARE like a pit. I had a discussion with my husband before I uploaded this post ( just to get his opinion on the topic ) and what he said baffled me.

      “Any place is a dangerous one when too many women are cooped up in one area”.
      Seriously, I don´t condone his mindset on the issue but it did give me something to think about the whole evening.

      As much as I didn´t like the idea, he made a valid point. Without wanting to dive in to the psychology of human behavior, I did see what he meant by his comment. Social media gives people a platform to display themelves. And if you have many strong characters wanting to be seen / heard then there´s bound to be conflict within a group, you know? These people trample over others.

      As for the discriminating part- There´s no excuse for that. That´s just crappy.
      You ARE always good enough even if people in unimportant groups let you feel otherwise. Bah, I can´t stand discriminating giveaways.
      Thank you for your comment and I´m so sorry you had to go through that.

      Like

      1. I go through it everyday. I was rejected by blog Tour companies for not being a US UK blogger. They all want bloggers who post on amazon and I post on US UK sites yet I am not good enough. Many publishers have told me. Anyways such is life… Everyone talks the big talk, not many walk the walk

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah! Truly, this post is a well-structured breath of fresh air. These reasons can be applied to just about any online book group platform (ahem…Goodreads). Another reason for quitting would be Disguise Groups. You know, those groups whose name suggests one theme but is just a polite way of saying what they really are. Example, don’t call yourself a group about diverse author reads when you’re only open to reading books by one specific demographic–and any members who do not fit into said demographic are booed off stage.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. THANK YOU. And yes, you are absolutely right about this applying to nearly all online book groups on whatever social media. Goodreads is actually next on myblog post list of why I hardly hang out there anymore.
      Disguise groups- YES! I never understood why these groups existed, to be honest. But you know- I think many people don´t actually understand the true definition of the words they use or they like to twist and tweak the meanings to their advantage. You can be diverse but only as diverse as the group admins & members are. Lol. Totally the same thing when they promise to accept all opinions when they only show acceptance if they agree. It´s all a sad joke.
      I don´t think any reasonable person can fit into any fixed ( hidden or not ) group demographic unless you´re prepared to ignore the gray areas.
      Thank you so much for commenting. I really appreciate it. And I´m glad you enjoyed my post. It´s always a relief to know I´m not completely alone with my thoughts 🙂

      Like

  3. 250 book groups! OMG!

    I’m member in 2 😀 One is for all kinds of genres/ readers, the other is strictly Stephen King. Not sure what i was expecting, but it’s basically people posting about the same S.K. books /movies all the time, along the lines of “which SK should i read next?”… i mean… wtf 😀 I’m contemplating on leaving.

    I like the other group. Don’t often join the convo to be honest, cuz ain’t nobody got time for that, but i like how people talk about all kinds of stuff. Like, the other day i helped some lady buy an audio book which was nice.
    They do have the policy of no self/blog promotion, but whatever… i can live with that cuz otherwise everyone is pretty nice.

    I don’t think i’ll join more groups though 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes! 250. Could have been more, though. I just clicked the remove button many many times that one night. Had a FB group clean out. Lol
      That´s exactly the problem with groups dedicated to authors. There´s hardly anything valuable you can see because it´s all repetitive ( unless an author squeezes books out every 6 weeks ). You´re really better off leaving. Trust me… just leave. Do the Polish retreat ( I do that at parties all the time to avoid saying good bye and being caught up by people who are ” SO SAD” that I´m leaving * gg * I leave without saying a word. Works like a charm ).

      Naaaw. That was really sweet of you to helped that lady out 🙂 Good deeds, my dear. ❤ I like the idea of being apart of a book group like that. Shows there´s still normal ones out there. You know… I´m not too mad about the no promo rule if that´s the only crucial rule. I think it´s all about how you approach your audience. If you slap them across the face with a mile long list with terms and conditions for the sake of whatever then that´s not okay. But if you have 1 or 2 rules just to emphasize the purpose of a group then..okay. Does this make sense? Hope it does. Lol. My brain is kind of fried from the heat.

      Meeh. Groups are overrated. HAHAHA

      Like

  4. Missed this post! Only just seen it.

    You definitely hit the nail on the head with most of the things you’ve written and I agree with you on them.

    Generally I just drop my post link in a group and don’t bother with anything else. Drop it and it gets ignored.😂 You know what it’s like, certain people, like and share all the same stuff, their posts get loads of likes and comments in the group. Other people, same book, tumbleweeds.😂 A few groups like that, doesn’t really bother me but, ya know, when you know you’ve written a killer review and it is far better than the ones that get traction and interaction just because they are by one of the favoured people, sure sucks but what ya gonna do.🙄

    Ha, offensive posts, that’s true, it’s what the admin deems offensive and often, yeah, it is, other times, no it isn’t. Admins make the rules too but don’t adhere to them, couple of fantasy groups suck for that big time, you get one link a week, etc and then, the admin, cos they can, pimp their books constantly and constantly promote their own reviews too. Double standards me thinks.

    Commenting can suck in FB groups too with people taking offence, but, I guess that happens on blogs, etc too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Do you realize how colorful our discussions would be if we ever met up for drinks? LMAO.
      I agree with you. And I think we really need to make a post out of each of the points you´ve mentioned. Spill a little Tea on each topic. The world needs to know, Drew.

      Liked by 1 person

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