The Art Of `Live And Let Live` ( In The Book Blog Community)

” But the world is getting worse and I blame the beginning of it´s demise on social media.”

– Ricky Gervais

 

I bet you saw this one coming, didn’t ya? The Art Of `Live And Let live`. Folks, this is exactly what it is. A post about living and leaving others alone.

This is not a click bait.. For the record: I’m not a click bait book blogger so there will be none of that here.

Normally, I´d go ahead and give you a generalized post on my thoughts regarding the topic at hand. I´d throw in some pros and cons and provide some real examples and include my personal opinion. Not this time. I´ve something else in mind.

Stay factual. Stay realistic. Stay diplomatic. Try to stay neutral. That´s what I try to aim for when typing up my posts. For most of the time I reach my own standards.   I don´t blog about books and book related topics to unleash hell onto others for the sake of personal pleasure. Why am I even telling you all this?

Well, something happened today. Something that had shocked me. I spotted a tweet on Twitter that hit close to home.  And the weird part? It was about my blog post and what it did for other people.

Initially, I had not planned on publishing a post over the weekend. Now I feel like one has to go up. For many of you, this might sound so petty. So annoying.  Trust me- I´m just as annoyed. Please bear with me, dear annoyed non participants. My fingers are crossed that this´ll find an end sooner than later. I have just as much important shit to do.

There has been talk regarding my blog posts. Mind you- this isn´t the first time someone disagreed with one of my posts. But it´s the first time I´m seeing a complaint done behind my back.

My life motto is

`Live and let live.`

 

Unfortunately, this concept is totally alien for many people, It´s easy to live and let live. It´s apparently more fun not to. This also applies for book blogging. Most of the time the things I see happening in the book community are fairly harmless ( by harmless I mean things that don´t have people sobbing in the fetus position at night ). A little bitching here, and a lot of nagging there. Most of the time I find this really great. Opinions are what get conversations rolling. You have an opinion on a topic and share it, even welcome other opinions? I´m in! What I don´t like is when things become personal.

By `live and let live`I´m saying accept what others do and move on. Respect a book bloggers opinion and continue with life as it was.

 

`Live and let live.`

 

Yeah. The offended book committee doesn´t share my life philosophy. They say they do but they don´t.  Instead, these people make it their mission to keep my name within their radars. Because they were offended by one of my posts.
Which posts, you ask? What could be so awful that have people feeling all sorts of uncomfortable? Even feeling personally attacked?

 

The Art Of Pointing Fingers At Book Bloggers

Excuse me for not being a friend of finger pointing at book bloggers. You don´t post links from a book blogger and bash them in a group because you´re fucking unhappy. Have you no common sense?

A post about how unnecessary I feel it is to feel offended by the fakeness of Instagram. My personal opinion on this subject aside- I was told my post offended people. No one cared about my opinion. And it was a positive opinion. I was pro `live and let live`.

Here´s what happened: I was a new member of a Facebook book group and shared a post of mine. Keep in mind that I had been a member for only a short period of time before I shared a link to one of my blog posts. The first comment I received was from the admin.

Anne Carter
Enter a caption

anna2

 
” Just read some fucking books.” A sad response from someone I had only exchanged a few words with in a previous post ( she was moody there as well ). Practically a stranger. So, this is how we speak with group members now? I´m appalled by this attitude and behavior.  We´re a book blog community. You can dislike my post but you are not allowed to be uncivilized. My post was clean. I had an opinion. Take it or leave it. Don´t tell me my post was offensive when in reality, you just didn´t like it. There´s a difference. See the difference.

I will not lie- this has been my top 2019 post so far. I´ve had dream worthy views ( and still counting ). I´m pretty sure the majority of the views on this post had been from the offended committee. Because, how dare I talk about a subject and publish my link in a group for book bloggers! Shame on me for trying to be a part of a group.

After that I left the group. Because I´m not stupid. Once an attitude, twice an attitude.. I´m not sticking around for round 3. So, I left. I dusted my hands off and moved on. Best decision I had in a long shot. Unfortunately for me, one group member followed me to my blog and thought it would be wise to continue what I ended in the group  underneath one of my blog posts. One person hunted me down to give me a piece of her mind. Keep in mind- That pilgrim had her little moment in the group I posted my link in. She wasn´t done, though.

 

 

Turns out, I have no empathy because I don´t care about the feelings of others. My post was “harmful”. No, it wasn´t. This discussion was long done for me before the loyal book pilgrim followed me to my blog.

 

 

So, people who are offended by posts are allowed to post about their feelings and I am supposed to sit back and accept wordlessly? No. That´s wrong on so many levels.

 

Then there´s this gem of mine that has caused more than just a stir. This time more people were involved. This is the Twitter post I spotted. The post about my post. A fellow book blogger defended me on her Twitter page and ended up being blocked. Why? Because I published a post about

Why I Don´t Join Book Blog Tours Anymore

The title says exactly what´s in this post. I reveal the reasons why I don´t participate in book blog tours anymore. How can this be misunderstood for anything else? And this had the bush drums going in a book blogger group. Not sure if I should laugh, cry, feel flattered, be shocked…

The reasons have stemmed from my personal experiences. Things that have occurred in the span of my 10 year book blogging career. I have not, and will not reveal the names of these book tour organizers because they´ve retired 2 – 5  years ago.

Why has this post about my not participating in blog tours been written? What was my motive? Do I need one? No. But I´ll amuse everyone anyway. It felt right to share my experiences. I wanted to share my stuff and maybe help others even if it´s by showing them that they aren´t alone with this. What´s wrong with that? Should I have not posted about why blog tours don´t work for ME anymore? Should I have worded the whole thing differently just to have the approval of the offended party? No can do. That would go against my book blog religion.

 

“Some people just don´t care.”

Here´s something to think about:

What would happen ( after having read an experience post of mine ) if the offended person just sat down and asked themselves how this could have happened to a book blogger? The post is open for discussion. Why not get in touch and ask for details. Ask about specifics instead of feeling offended. Because that´s how it looks like from my end of the stick. “I´m offended. I feel attacked.” When it reality my post was never about others. Just me. What is there to feel offended about? Unless these people felt offended on my behalf. Which I highly doubt.

My experiences are my personal facts. You can have your opinion on my opinion but you can´t feel offended by something I´ve dealt with. That´s ridiculous. Unless you´re offended on my behalf. I still doubt that.

 

To sum this whole thing up:

Believe it or not- I wouldn´t publish anything I don´t like. Should someone feel offended by whatever banal post I deem worthy of publishing then there´s always the option of ignoring me.

It´s simple. If you´re not convinced then try it out for yourselves. It works wonders for me.

People, if you are not able to live and let live then at least try! Try for the sake of peace. You can have a good rant. Make a post out of the topic you want to rant about. Ranting is healthy. The behavior I´ve been unofficially subjected to ( because, technically, I haven´t seen the post in the actual Facebook group. Just saw the tweet and was informed by a blogger friend )  is a low form of confrontation. Behind my back. A questionable act against someone who can´t defend themselves because they´re not in the group anymore.

Here´s another thing to consider:

It was clear the person and I weren´t able to meet eye to eye from the start ( although I tried ). The most logical thing to do would be if both went on our merry ways. I did that. The other person didn´t. The fact that this person has been checking on my posts tells me the person is just waiting for something to feel offended about.

The person who targeted my post stated she had planned  to comment on my post at first. She didn´t. I´m now grateful she decided against it. God knows how many more gray hairs I would have gained after a chitchat.

I am not interested in a discussion with this person anymore. Not now, not ever. Should this person reach out to me for whatever reason I will not react. I´ve reacted enough already. The offended parade is officially over. It´s time to move on.

Here´s a kind reminder for the future book blog community: Stop being fucking dicks.

And start working on social skills. Learn how to agree to disagree. Learn how to respect opinions. Learn to live and let live.

 

On a side note:

I´d like to give a huge hug to the person who posted that tweet. She didn´t tag me and I will not tag her because she has been through enough already by defending my blog post and herself.  And of course a Thank You to the person who sent me the screenshot via DM. Thank you. This is what book blogging should be about. Helping each other and standing up for one another. Because what hurts one of us can hurt another book blogger if we keep silent. Thank you, both.

 

On another side note: 

No book blogger should ever stay silent when they feel they´ve been wronged. Speak up. And if you´re not the type then get in touch with a fellow blogger. We don´t just write reviews. We´re a community.

This has been a long post. Much longer than I wanted it to be. My first thought was to dismiss this whole idea of standing up for myself. But I couldn´t. I could be helping others. I want to help others.

What I don´t want it to approach this subject ever again. It´s done. The joke is around the corner. It´s time to read and review and do other fun shit.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you belong to the people who were offended by my posts then do yourselves a favor- Don´t bother commenting. I don´t appreciate wasting my time discussing my crystal clear posts with you. I am not interested.

If you´ve been through the same situation or know someone who has dealt with something similar.. Feel free to share. I´d be more than happy to chat. ❤

 

Much love and don´t forget to share the book love,

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13 thoughts on “The Art Of `Live And Let Live` ( In The Book Blog Community)

  1. I’ve discovered your blog withthis controversy and I’m happy I did. I, for one, admire your honesty and your motto and thank you for writing these very informative posts.
    Lots of support here ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Muchacha, I take it back. You were right to post this. Everything you said was spot on. No one should be attacked behind their back. No one should be attacked full stop. You can disagree with someone’s posts and opinions, that’s absolutely fine, but the language and reaction you were subjected to from the start was rude and uncalled for. I’m saddened that this goes on in the book blogging community and I’m saddened that anyone has been subjected to this. Disagree and discuss, don’t attack.

    I hope that you continue to post whatever the hell you want. I, for one, really enjoy your posts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you <3. It was tough typing this up. I agree. It´s wrong. Everything this person did was wrong and whatever hateful thoughts she harbors- they´re wrong. It´s sad and uncalled for. There is no reason to act as she did. Yeah, this book blog community has some pretty dark corners. So many people have lots to learn when it comes to socializing.
      I will continue to post. It´s important to spread the positive and to let others know they are not alone. This community can be so much fun. Why ruin it by being vicious?
      Love you. ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Omg this is your blog. You can post whatever you want
    This is your opinion. Have everyone forgotten freedom of speech? Gawd… I am kind of shocked 😲 wow… I like your posts. They tell me something about you, they make me think about my views
    In fact, I stopped writing this is my honest review after reading your post because it made sense to me. Carry on writing.
    If I don’t agree with the post, I just don’t comment or I just write about my experiences.
    *still shocked* why would anyone use an expletive?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You know, I would´ve understood if that person had had a bad day. It´s not nice to let steam off on others but I would have understood. Since she seemed to be in a constant bad mood I felt there was nothing to gain in a book group. I wouldn´t find new friends there. My posts wouldn´t be treated with respect. They would have tried to shut me down with their viciousness. I´m too old for this crap. I teach my kids the importance of acceptance and respect. They´re 12 and 8 and even they know better than this blogger. That´s shocking to me that there´s a mature woman acting this way.
      REALLY?! Wow. 🙂 I´m floored you made that change because of my post. You didn´t have to, of course. But it´s nice to know my words aren´t floating around for nothing. So, feel hugged. Thank you.
      Freedom of speech is only welcome when people can agree. That´s nonsense. As you said- Don´t like it? Don´t comment or comment with your own opinion. I´d never react this strongly towards an opinion. PAssionate, sure. State your thoughts but be civilized. It´s truly shocking. Why can´t people be civilized? Thanks for commenting, my dear ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. People are just mean, I guess.. I hate Facebook due to that one reason I find people very offensive and racist out there. I have quit that medium except for the very basics

        Like

  4. It’s freedom of speech till someone says something you don’t like? That’s not freedom.
    Lots to think about here, thank you for posting this, I may not always agree with bloggers but this is never ok. Don’t like it? Unsubscribe or walk away and if you engage, do so respectfully without name calling. It’s not hard.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Exactly. It´s not freedom. It´s so easy to be civilized. And if you can´t act decently then move along. You´re always a click away from finding some peace at mind again, you know? Thank you for reading my post. It´s much appreciated. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. ..the fact that this person has been checking on my posts tells me the person is just waiting for something to feel offended about… petty and silly.
    Your posts are fantastic and very thought-provoking. I don’t have to agree with or like everything you post on your site but i darned well have to respect it! Plus, reading varied opinions makes ppl more informed on topics. I’m sorry this shitstorm happened to you though. And I’m ashamed that this happened in the bookblog community. You keep going Morgana. Many of us do appreciate what you post.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Ugh… i’m speechless. How rude?!?! I always come back to the same thing: why do they even care?
    Like, ok, you are not participating in blog tours. Aaaand? How does that affect their lives?
    People post weird shit on instagram. So?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. And here I thought I was amazed by your sharing that people on instagram are bitching about to fake or not to fake coffee. Mind blown…again.

    I don’t read romance, that means I don’t follow people who only read or talk about romance novels. That doesn’t mean I complain about their opinions on the books they’ve read or their belief that romance is the best genre. No, we’re not in the same pea pod. Do your thing, I’ll do mine.

    Safe to say so many of us got your back girl. Let the haters hate because what they’re really going to do is show how much support you have and how off they are. At the end of the day they’ve made me more interested in your post, thinking, huh what did I miss. You probably got a lot more people saying the same thing. So Thank you, next! You’ve got the right idea here, Live & Let Live. I’m tired of people being so sensitive. Grow up and find something better to do with your feelings people.

    Cheers to you and being real! 😉

    Like

    1. Naaw ❤ Thank you. It´s good to know I have support. And I couldn´t agree more- Grow up and find a hobby because clearly reading isn´t doing it for you. * sigh *

      I really don´t get what people´s problems are. You don´t see me pointing fingers at assholes for no greater reason, you know? It´s just not worth it. But it will be if I´m not left alone.
      Thanks for commeting ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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